New Year Resolutions

The last year whizzed by ...
Nothing got accomplished ! Totally, nothing!
Everything of 2010 has been a blank.So seriously, this sucks.
.Embarking upon newyear with immense stress and immense deadlines sucks Ass, totally!

Resolutions?

NOT TO PANIC..TIDE OVER THAT HALF HOUR OF SEVERE PANIC ATTACK SOMEHOW
I have this tendency to make impulsive decisions during that half hour of panic attack and then after that panic attack tides, I still have to abide by those impulsive decisions I made  during the panic attack and /or , track back on those ideas  which is a big big big waste of time. One impulsive thing I often times do during panic attacks is EMAIL old bfs or try calling family...Trust me, in a panic attack, NOTHING HELPS except yourself cosciously TIDING IT OVER CALMLY.
#########################

STOP BEING A PERFECTIONIST.
Being a perfectionist or wanting to do a task in the most perfect manner makes me procrastinate and then I end up postponing tasks to be done at  a later time(a time frame or time point wherein I assume I am going to be happier and in a better frame of mind to do it better).The future reference point looks are rosy and comfortable till ofcours it  becomes the present and looks not SO IDEAL.Any time is good as this...So, stop being a perectionist and do it already.
Again.The whole of last year has been endless panic attacks wherein I have postponed stuff over and over ...and then I horrify myself  with further panic attacks about how I never get anything done!!!
So, yeah, stop being a perfectionist and try to do whatever lil i can do even when my mindset is not the happiest..and that is how you get it done..bit by bit..I need to keep on doing tasks..I need to do this
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

STOP MAKING OVERWHELMING PLANS ALL TOGETHER..
Making grandiose plans is what makes me want to wait till I am in that uber productive mindset to accomplish a task..I CANNOT wait for perfect mindsets..I need to push on with NO-SO-PERFECT mindsets.Also, I need to make SHORT TERM PLANS...small do-able plans and that makes tasks less daunting.Even better, just don't make a plan, Just get up and do stuff..Just do it and plan it as you go...
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
STOP MAKING PLANS in my PRE-REM SLEEP START DOING THINGS.. AND PLAN AS I GO

I have this tendency in the night just as I fall off to sleep or the least, TRY to fall off to sleep, make elaborate plans about how I will wake up early next morning and make a tight 18 hour plan.This sends my mind into such a frenzy that i end up developing a mini panic attack and then i can't go to sleep for a long long time..and due to that, I end up getting up late..and then get very disappointed that I am already lagging behind in my day plan.

^^^^^^^^^
I NEED TO GROW UP AND STOP CALLING HOME LIKE A BABY EACH TIME I HAVE A PANIC ATTACK.
I need to grow up.Just as I type this,just half hour ago,I had an immense panic attack..and I was this close to calling home..hmmmmm..
The thing about calling home is, I call and then speak long distance for four hours.
The thing is, in the process of babbling out to mom and dad , all my "WOES", I make them worry about me and at the end of four hours of babbling, my panic is just the same as it was before.
So, um..The whole exercise of calling home has, time and again, proved  to be counter productive .
So ,why do it?
I NEED TO GROW UP BIGTIME.There are a lot of older people in their 40s who don't have parents to call .They are prolly even  parents themselves.
So, how do they deal with problems? By sucking it up and doing whatever it takes
I MUST DO THAT TOO instead of constantly calling home like a child would do
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


STOP TRYING TO RECONNECT WITH OR REVISIT PEOPLE AND PLACES THAT SURE INDUCE DEPRESSION IN ME (NO MATTER HOW MUCH I MISS THEM )
I am an overachiever when I do things all alone/without anyone interfering or "helping" or sharing the burden.But time and again ,I choose to interact with people and become part of places which surely induce immense depression in me to the point of dysfunctionality.Funnily, these people and places THAT I INTERACT WITH  benefit immensely by the end of the interaction while I lose out.
And then I go into severe depression disappointed at how I became an underachiever due to my interaction with them and the depression that this interaction brought me thereof.
Then comes this part where though I know the cause of the depression I have a hard time walking away from these people/places."Funny" even more is when I  have finally managed to walk way from them and am starting to get better and strangely I want to go reconnect with these very elements all over again leading to predictable disastrous results..ALL OVER AGAIN..I never learn..hmmmm..So I need to learn.I wonder why I do it though?False bravado? why?NO SELF PRESERVATION?NO SELFISHNESS?FAKE BRAVADO?I don't know..I need to drop this habit..totally.MAYBE I LIKE THE HIGH STRUNG SOAP OPERA LIKE MISERY LADEN DRAMA? maybe..But I need to BREAK THE HABIT OF LOVING MISERY.

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

STOP BLAMING AND START BEING IN CHARGE .OPEN MY EYES AND REALIZE THAT EVERYONE FACES THE SAME PROBLEMS I FACE...I NEED TO LEARN TO TACKLE PROBLEMS and unexpected situations like an adult!

Just right when I am ready to reach the PERFECT STATE OF MIND,something drastic happens,over and over and I drop the towel and I give up.
My mommy blames it on bad destiny.I don't believe in destiny at all..
Yet , I do blame everything around me and DROP THE TOWEL...I think I do that because I feel like I am the only one who faces these peculiar problems..
Maybe having spent a very sheltered and provided for childhood,where everything was ready and there for me,no money worries ever,I got everything I asked for,I got things before I asked for them,.Everything was taken care of by mom and dad, &so much so that I never realized how much it takes to get to that perfect place of a provided for childhood.
This protected childhood probably didn't prepare me enough to the TOUGH times of now.
Things that I deem too tough to deal with,BUT in reality THEY ARE NOT that tough at all,everyone faces them..ONLY,I never knew till now.So, I need to calm down and understand that EVERYONE FACES SUCH PROBLEMS..EVERYONE..EVERYONE..So I need to calm down and NOT feel like a victim.I need to be a tough fighter..I need to .
####################
STOP DISREGARDING GUT INSTINCT
My gut instinct comes from a smart place in my mind which works on logic.I know what will happen if I say something to someone or do this or that
And yet,after that momentary gut instinct moment which tells me "no point complaining coz no action will be taken anyways" and then after five minutes of that,I see myself slowly going into a panic attack wherein I finally decide that I might as well go ahead and complain..Then I go complain , then nothing gets done and then I am depressed coz nothing got done AFTER I complained..Ya ,know..geezus..STICK TO THE GUT INSTINCT..seriously
-----------------------------------------------------

STOP LAMENTING ON THINGS I DIDN'T ACCOMPLISH THOUGH I HAD the TALENT to accomplish it.LEARN TO LOOK FORWARD
Lamenting about my past or current failures  puts me in a depression and then I waste more time doing nothing during that depression phase,then I end up not accomplishing anything further and then I get depressed some more and then lament...vicious cycle.
I need to forgive myself and move on..
Maybe I AM NOT SUPERWOMAN..Maybe not..Maybe I am a tortoise..and maybe I am a loser..so what?
Even losers must try..I am a loser, maybe, but I must try...Ya know...Stop lamenting..Stop blaming others for my failures...everyone faces bad situations..I am too..I am to deal with it like an adult.I cannot be a baby..My parents are getting older..I need to learn to manage alone..I need to do things alone..totally

The ridiculous predicament of "Automated" Invites

AUTOMATED INVITES that are sent out by networking sites once you give them permission to import your address book can cause a lot of misunderstanding.
Case in point
I recently emailed someone,Someone that I hadn't talked to in months.Someone whom i parted ways with on a very nasty note months ago.After i stopped email contact with them, I never even bothered to check on their website or other social networking activity altogether.I didn't see a point in checking on them anymore.

So, a few days ago, when i finally needed to email them in order to clarify something very important, I had literally no idea where they were at or what they were up to these days , totally out of the loop.The last time I ever checked on their website was way back in july or august..Never visited their website or interacted with them on other social networking sites since august.That is that.

So,I was UNSURE if even sending an email to this person was an appropriate gesture or not.Anyways, I mustered up some patience and courage to email them.I just had to do this to clarify things, though I wasn't even sure if it was appropriate to email this person anymore

I sent out a very civil, two line email, half expecting that they wouldn't reply.
Much as expected , No reply to my email.

However, within hours of having sent them that email, I got a LinkedIn invite from them.
I was taken by surprise..I mean it is just plain rude to not reply to an email that someone sent you , yet think it is okay to send a LinkedIn invite.
I was like, "What is going on here?"
Thankfully, I just figured that it was an AUTOMATED INVITE.that probably got sent by LinkedIn  on their behalf.
But this invite got me thinking.Am I supposed to email them back asking them about the invite, though they never even had the decency to reply to the first email that i sent them?
duh!
The INVITE was VERY GENERIC too, kinda, confirming my suspicion that this was automated.Surely, if they were really sending me an invite, after months of not having been in touch, they would really add a personal note to that invite, won't they?
HOW AM I TO MAKE SURE THIS INVITE IS not AUTOMATED ?
For all I know..they are probably not even AWARE that this invite was sent out to me.So, while they are busy ignoring emails that I sent them, LinkedIn Is busy sending me invites on their behalf..IRONY..totally!

Though my initial plan was to send one curt email and drop the idea if they don't reply,Now due to this automated reply, I was inclined to send more emails.
So,I resent a couple of more emails to this person a day or two later .YET AGAIN, no email reply at all..
But , once more, within hours of me emailing them the second and third email, though they didn't care to email me back, I got a REMINDER invite for THEIR LINKEDIN INVITE..
This just doesn't make sense.
Is LinkedIn sending me invite reminders without informing this person that they are sending me invites on their behalf?
THESE AUTOMATED INVITES CAN CAUSE QUITE A LOT OF CONFUSION YOU SEE.LinkedIn needs to stop sending automated invites.seriously!!! geeeeez

Because , you see, LinkedIn is a professional networking site.This person and I , we have never ever worked together.We are from very different professions, not even remotely connected per say.So, it just doesn't make sense connecting to this person on a professional network site.It doesn't make sense being invited to connect on a professional network at all when this person has never invited me to connect on something basic as facebook even
            So, as of now..I have sent three emails to this person,,NO REPLY whatsoever..yet, I am being annoyed with ridiculous automated invites from linkedin and automated reminders to top it all.
Seriously,,someone stop the automated invites..please.....please

The Sun, The moon,The clouds,The trees , The lights and The Birds

Please note that All these photographs were taken by me..All of them are hundred percent Unaltered as in Untouched and UN-photoshopped. All of them are of low resolution .All of them are point and shoot.No sophisticated camera equipment and no manual lens focal length and brightness adjustment
Essentially all pictures are AU NATURALE...
Nature is so beautiful that all it takes is a point and shoot camera to capture the beauty.
All photos are copyrighted to Lecinqblog aka Dr. A aka me..Please do not use without prior written permission from me.
You are more than welcome to link to this blog entry though if you feel like sharing the photographs with your friends. 
Please feel free to leave url to your photostreams similar to the theme that these photos represent or remind you of.
cheers to all visitors..Please leave me comments here or @reply or DM or email me with responses or feedback


==============================================
                                                     THE BIRDS IN CRIMSON

 Every single apartment that i have lived in has been near a water source>Be it a lake or bayou or some such.Needless,I get to see birds going back home each evening..and in  this picture you can see the sun starting to go towards the setting line and birds -two of them-if you look closely to the right half of the photograph
===================================================
                                                         THE SIMPLE MOONGLOW

This is a very simple, very low resolution,picture of the pitch dark inky night with just the round moon.I have taken more beautiful more detailed pictures of the night sky , but I want all of you to just appreciate the simplicity of this picture.Just enjoy it and take it all in.

=============================================================
                                                 THE SUNBURST FROM CLOUDS

Again, Every single apartment  that I  have lived in has been a high altitude one.That kind of high altitude allows me magnificent views of the skies.There are ever changing cloud patterns..This particular one was taken by me at the exact instant when the clouds covered up the sun and gave rise to this sunburst appearance. The trees are a dark beautiful contrast.Feast to the eyes.
===================================================================
                                                                 RUBY SUNRISE

The sunrises and the Sunsets are the best ever views from my apartment.There is a varied pattern each time depending on humidity and clouds and lighting and moisture and what not..This one is called Ruby sunrise..Very surreal an yet very red and intense..strong one this pic.yeah?
===============================================================
                                                 THE DANCING NIGHT LIGHTS

Before my motor bike accidents wherein i broke my knee(kinda) I used to run everyday on a lakeshore.I would run till twilight and before i would leave each night after my run, I would stop by and take pictures of the lights reflected on the lake..Beautiful play of lights dontcha think?
===================================================================
                                                        THE SUNRISE EVERYDAY

This is the sunrise i get to watch each day..How lucky Am i ? (TOUCHWOOD)...Beautiful orange sun.I want to reach out and pluck it and eat it for breakfast
====================================================================
                                                         THE TWILIGHT TREE

I call this tree the Twilight tree.One evening , i was this view against a partially dark cloudy twilight sky.It looks lonely yet majestically strong standing there...inspiring and austere.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

update:march 21 2010 :For all the peeps who already voted for their fav pic by @replying on twitter..Thank you .For all the others who are yet to tell me their fav pic, feel free to either @reply me or leave a comment right here under blog.I prefer @reply though.

The voting is still on,choose your favorite pic out of all the ones in this batch and tell me.

Please understand that this voting is just a social interaction exercise.Your choices will help me understand your personality better.That is all.

cheers.

==================================================================


 Post note: I am a physician by profession but I do take up photo commission projects.Please email me if you want to commission my work in photography or painting or poetry or writing etc..Email is on the right of this page.

Leonardo Da Vinci

LEONARDO DA VINCI.
In my opinion he is a GOD..
Seriously,I adore him so much..One of my inspirations in life, besides others like MADAM CURIE, MAHATHMA GANDHI, BUDDHA and some other present day contemporaries who remind me of me

LEONARDO DA VINCI for one..was a great artist..
His paintings.. --breathtaking , beautiful , artistic ..yet very mathematically constructed, medically accurate too..
Leonardo da Vinci was also a mathematician
So many inventions are attributed to him.So many of his inventions were way ahead of his time.
His mechanical models , so accurate, so functional..( if you get Discovery channel on TV  in your country, please try and watch DOING DA VINCI-these guys are trying to reconstruct some of his older designs  which were luckily found in his NOTEBOOKS)

Leonardo da vinci was also an anatomy expert
When i see his drawings , I understand how much of a wealth of knowledge he was/is.
In my opinion, given how much of knowledge he had about the human body, he is also a physician

Leonardo da vinci was supposedly vegetarian.
Now I am secretly smiling to myself coz i am vegan.. These kind of humane lifechoices are made my people who take time to THINK..It takes a lot of thinking, for a human to understand that , meat is NOT a natural diet for humans.. coz we are not physically equipped to hunt like a tiger or a crocodile.

We are wimps..our fingernails suck..
If we smell freshblood,we puke..coz that is not what we are supposed to eat.
It might be so easy to pick  up -already bled and cleaned up meat pieces-off supermarket shelves,  but then..would you be able to eat raw meat? like bleeding raw meat? no?YEAH..i thought so!
So, to think that someone centuries ago, understood that principle that eating meat is UNNATURAL,  and made a life-choice to be a vegetarian..is a great point of inspiration for me..

Leonardo da vinci was rumored to be homesexual..i have no idea how historians came to such a conclusion coz most historians speculate..They can only speculate.What they speculate could be false .....or TRUE..whatever!
I have no specific opinions on this issue..I am against sexual abuse of minors though, coz,minors  don't understand the gravity fo what is going on sexually with them.If you are the older person trapping a minor to do sexual things with you,you are totally to blame..So, yeah, lay off the minors,please!

But as far as homosexuality between two consenting adults who reallly really love each other.. I have no judgements.. Casual sex between two adults even if heterosexual is highly undesirable though..coz the kind of sex you can have when you  are really into another person is quite different from mindless sex you can have with a person you don't love.
Anyways,
so anyways..
Looks like Leonardo Da Vinci  was a very good looking man--Great body, great muscle defintion.good muscle mass..WHOA! I am like.dude ..what else do I want in a man..he is vegetarian.. he is a smart ass and he has a greek god body..
BLUSHES.
So, looks like i have a major crush on a historical character..excellent..LOL

Jay Leno is back on the Tonight show

Jay Leno has already hosted the Tonight show for 4 days now..after his come back
To be very absolutely clear..I never wanted him to ever go at all.
I do understand that NBC works on these decade long contracts and when such long contracts end..the network might think it too much of a risk to not try a new person..
But for me..The only Tonight show i have watched for the longest time was hosted by Jay Leno and he kept me laughing each night just before i went to sleep.He delivered each night..Just the right kind of class, the right kind of goofiness, the right kind of bloke making fun  of himself..the right kind of everything..
So, Jay Leno so fit that role that I for the longest time always referred to the Tonight show as the JAY LENO SHOW..How cute is that?
To read more about why i like Jay Leno..Go snoop around my archives .There a couple or more of entries on Jay Leno.
So, when Jay Leno comes back to host the Tonight show..I was like
YES,,YES...YES...YESSSSSSSSSSSS. YESSSS..YESSSS. AND SOME YESSSSSSS.

The first day of the show was lukewarm and i was like.."Maybe the fact that everyone was persecuting him coz the channel wanted to kick Conan out and bring him back and he said yes...that probably kinda affected him or some thing..Hope he doesn't get less funnier!"

His interviewing style is classy..not pretentious ,mind you..just plain calm and classy..


So, by the second day, Leno was back to how he was prior to being replaced by Conan..
Back in action..as funny as always and i laughed and laughed and felt very very happy.


So, yeah..Leno is back.. a bunch of Olympic goldmedalists were interviewed over the past 4 days...
Absolutely thoroughly enjoyed the stories  of the lady skiier talking about how her trainer husband who is a big support system to her and then the next day the snowboarder kid talks about how his mother actually left the Goldmedal at the drycleaners coz she felt the ribbon got too dirty and needed cleaning and about how he almost gave up snowboarding due to an injury till his mom pushed him back into it..great!


I woudl rather that we have more than just entertainers on these talk shows..The world primarily runs because of the various achievers in science, medicine, engineering etc etc..So, I think these other achievers in other fields, fields other than cinema or music must get their fair due time on the talk shows.i sure for one would gladly watch these shows if more smartie pants were interviewed each night.Will allow me to go to sleep with a sense of inspiration in my heart.

Haiti and Now, Chile--Earthquake disasters !

I always say this.
Natural disasters are the ultimate deciders.That is when the true majesty of Mother nature and how powerful she is and how small we are in comparison comes forth as a powerful point to be remembered with dread forever.

It was horrible when the NewYear started off with a massive 7.6(approximate no.) Earthquake In Haiti..Haiti of all places
I was looking at this webpage where as you sweep the slider button on the bottom of the page from right to left you can see the damage of the earthquake unravel from before to after of the satellite pictures of the aerial view of the city and buildings.
All roofs had collapsed.

So, suddenly all these entertainers start lending their name to collect funds.Everyone donated generously . I actually tweeted about how the fact that they could $10 million dollars with just 5$ donations at Redcross suddenly revived my belief in humanity.

The most important contribution was that of the rescue workers and doctors and paramedical workers actually went down to ground zero and did what needed to be done. They are the real heroes coz they are the ones that actually did the helping..Just plain ole money can't really achieve anything will it now? Money won't go pick people out of the rubble..It is real people that will pick those people of there.yeah?
There were some aftershocks too which made me extremely concerned for the safety of the rescue workers that were already in Haiti trying to help.It would be so UNFAIR if something happened to the people that deliberately landed up there just to help the quake victims.Not that ANYONE AT ALL dying in an earthquake or otherwise is ever fair..sigh.
Just as the whole world was trying to forget the earthquake and the massive funds that flowed in for help...boom comes another earthquake..This time in CHILE and this IS ONE OF WORLDS WORST EARTHQUAKES EVER.. An whopping 8.8 on the Richter scale..ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
 Yet.. people were all totally already emotionally drained reacting to an earthquake i guess..hmmmmmmm

So, When MOTHER NATURE ROARS, we the minions just meekly accept.

The 2009 Round up blog in Piece meal-My opinion about NY resolutions?

BTW,
I made some NY resolutions..
My opinion about NY resolutions?
I see two different groups of people..One of those groups vehemently believes that you have to make resolutions coz that is what everyone else does and so they have to do it too ..
There is this other group which thinks that they should NOT have resolutions coz that is how you force yourself to stand out.. be being not what others do..
Both these attitudes are symbolic of a herd mentality nevertheless..You are still responding to a general trend.
To me.both these groups are in some way conforming to a public wave of behavior.
 I think , People should stop focussing on the general trend and focus on themselves.As a special unique entity with a special set of unique circumstances.
Like I already said, each of us is a unique set of variables.
We are all different.
So, if you want or feel the need to have a resolution, do have it.
If you don't, then don't.
If you want to have it and  then break it,sure , do it.
If you never had one but mid year you feel like having some NY resolutions, sure, do have them..
There are no rules.. just focus on yourself and make tailor made rules just for you,,yeah?
Be flexible in a clever way.


My NY resolutions-original and revamped -These are from my Twitter entries

1. 2010 NY: Never judge anyone.Don't do impulsive stuff,Get up and take action,Meet deadlines,work real hard,Hope for the best!have a schedule! 4:03 PM Dec 31st, 2009 from web 

1. Failed all NY resolutions:Never judge anyone.Don't B impulsive ,take action,Meet deadlines,work real hard,Hope for the best!have a schedule 4:42 AM Jan 5th from web

1. NY resolutions:Revamped: Make a schedule and stick to it,Calm down(my best friend's advice btw..LOL) ,drink enough water each day,sleep well 12:14 AM Jan 6th from web

1. NY resolutions:Revamped II: Finish learning guitar chords before vacating the apartment,Eat 3 good meals a day,get 9 hours of quality sleep! 12:23 AM Jan 6th from web 

1. NY resolutions:Revamped III:No matter how cold keep windows of the apartment open for an hour each day,listen 2 my fav music an hour a day 12:34 AM Jan 6th from web

I made NY resolutions quite spontaneously while twittering .I had not been meaning to do it. but i did , on the spur of the moment while Tweeting,
And,well, they are really sensible ones.
I failed on all the resolution goals  by jan 5 th .LOL..But ,ya know what, I am getting better at them.
This is the same principle "43things" website runs on..Once you jot down and publicly make a resolution, you are more likely to back it up with action.
"43things" is one of my favorite websites of all times.It really helps with focusing on goals in a very unique manner.

These days, each time I see someone messing up, the old me starts to judge and get critical at why people are so thoughtless and how they lack self control and why they mess up,,But suddenly I remember the NY RESOLUTIONS and then I quickly tell myself, "Don't judge, You don't know their state of mind, you don't know their circumstances, don't judge, just let it go!"
and then I let it go and then i feel liberated just a lil bit more in my head.