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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Procrastination-The rest of the story

Procrastination and Family drama,genetics and the blame game

Jason writes a blog and each blog entry always evokes spontaneous comments from me.In fact, I mull over the blog content in my head for days and then go back and post further comments.
We have a beautiful commenters community there on his blog who all write in with their own personal views on the topic of the blog and reading the other comments also is such a fulfilling experience.
So yeah, this time jason wrote about procrastination and was taking about his grampa and pa and about how procrastination runs in the family and about soybean fields in the backyard and about the blame game we all play to get away with procrastination and such.
I left three comments for him there and I felt that these comments of mine qualify of blog entries.Here they are :
My comments
Blogger Le cinq blog said...

Okay, You gotta lay off the Pot. Seriously, You gotta do it.Cannabis is a mind altering drug. Please,stop using weed or pot!

Secondly,you look super sexy in that picture.

Thirdly,I got so tired of constantly coming over and checking if you wrote a new blog that I started procrastinating on my own blogging as well., You had soybean fields in your backyard? How do soybean fields look though.Any pics you can share? Being vegan now, soy gives me my iron and protein and what not.Would love to see pics of soybean fields.

Yeah, no use blaming planets or stars. Blaming anyone or anything is a sign of a loser. I blame a lot too when i lose out or don't fulfill my goals and i have learned that blame goes nowhere.

Wow, this blog was just plainly profound and scratched the surface of untouchable topics in my deeply buried psyche.

I think I am gonna repost this comment on my blog just to get me going and update all of my blogs which btw I haven't updated in the past 2 weeks.sheesh

In my opinion we all procrastinate as an escape from a painful place in our minds. As an escape from a lack of motivation. Ya know. or prolly lack of confidence.
Someone once sent me a note about how procrastination is all about perfectionism. Ya know, you keep postponing it coz you want to do a perfect job of it but then the pity part of it all is this perfect time never comes sometimes.
Anyways, jase, hugs to you ,blog more often will ya.Keeps me going.Even if it just airport pictures or silly touristy stories and such.

April 26, 2009 5:05 PM

Blogger Le cinq blog said...

I just read the 80 comments above mine and atleast three kids are procrastinating on their exam preparation while reading this blog.LOL
But yeah, hundred percent of us commenters have also admitted that we are procrastinators as well. I think all humans are procrastinators.
Speaking of which, like everyone else said, you have been touring so much and all that travel by itself is such hardwork. So yes, You are not slacking at all.
either ways as much as i would love for you to blog alteast once a week, If you really feel like you are forcing yourself to blog, give yourself a break . You deserve it.You can always come back when you are refreshed. Yeah, please catch atleast 6hrs of sleep every 24hrs.
love and hugs

April 26, 2009 5:37 PM


Blogger Le cinq blog said...

I feel ridiculous posting a third comment on this blog entry ,but then, after reading this blog , It kept replaying in my mind. Just had to come back and say some more.
First off ,see,this scene where your father is procrastinating at home and you skip school and roam around town and then both of you are pretending to each other that you were both doing what you both were supposed to be doing. Hmmmmm..That's tragic and well, procrastination can stem from mild to moderate depression.While it is foolish to blame your grampa and pa for passing on procrastination to you as if you mean procrastination is genetic, The blame still holds weight, since depression is genetic in some way, and procrastination can stem from depression.So there is a complex reason behind mass familial procrastination.Maybe your dad was depressed for not getting the opportunities in life he would have wanted.Maybe he was disappointed with himself which is why he was/is depressed and procrastinating thereof.Ya know. all hidden complex reasons.Maybe I am over analyzing your blog, but then even if this comment doesn't correctly apply to you I am sure someone of the comment readers might relate to it, which is why i take pains to post a looong comment.
The sweet side of your father though was that you took you to ever audition possible.Reminds me of my father. My father would never say no to anything related to my education.He would even to date buy any book i would like.He is sweet like that.
I just had to come back and babble about this coz, the lines in your blog kept repeating in my head like crazy.
No point blaming parents for anything , even if they were bad parents. But yes, having a great showdown and telling them all the things you didn't like about their parenting and getting it all out kinda relieves the soul.It gets all the animosity out there and clears the air.
It felt better when i sat both my parents down one day and screamed out things all emotionally charged at what all they could have done better with their parenting.Ofcourse, after that, couldn't sleep that whole night. The next thing in the morning,I kinda told sorry to both of them and all of us broke into tears. Hmmmmm.Then there was a group hug and some breakfast.
yeah, cannabis just creates more depression.It does.So,good to lay off of it.I say this as a well informed physician.Many of my patients who are hard drug addicts now say that they all started with soft drugs like alcohol or weed.It never stops at that.
Dealing with any kind of pain by actually analyzing it and coming to terms with it is better than blocking it out with weed or drugs.
Okay, I am done with my blabbing on this comments box.Geez, three comments. Sorry Ppl, just had to share.
I know jase reads all comments from top to bottom.So yes, hoping he will have patience with my over-commenting on this blog.
Gonna post this comment on my blog for my own records.
Also, YOUR MUSIC IS VERY VERY VIBRANT AND ORIGINAL AND THE MOST HAPPY MUSIC i have ever have THE GIFT buddy, so let's rejoice at your talent.K?EAch time i listen to a song of yours, I will for sure pep up.
Your great creativity is your greatest gift to us and the world.Thank for the gift of your music.
I apologize to the other comment readers for posting such a long comment.
Group Hug everybody!

Copyright(c)2009 Lecinqblog.Please do not reproduce without permission from Author.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

My initiation into the Twitter world !

As many of my usual readers might already have noticed I have been twittering since the last week or so .
Yes, I finally gave in and registered with twitter. Why? Well, for one, I had been toying with the idea of microblogging for quite some time since i had noticed that these little punchlines keep popping up in my head every now and then and opening up my blog and typing out a large blog entry seems like too much of work. All I want to do is post that punchline for all my readers to read.
Ya know, Also serves as record of those tiny thoughts that pop up in your head.
Also, someone else I kinda know had been actively twittering for the past few months.
Yes, there have been waves of social networking manias associated with myspace and then facebook and then friendster and what not , but for the longest though i did register myself on each of these pages due to the fact that one friend or another would send me an invite, none of these sites looked interesting enough to hold me and make me come back. No, not even facebook.
for one, Myspace has too many crawlers, and there are too many associated spy programs on myspace. I hate it . facebook look more apt for people who don't mind their info splattered all over the place without their knowledge . Ya know, sometimes you send a message to another friend and before you know it, that message is on some forum .
Yeah, speaking of which, all of my twitter updates are not getting picked up by random associated websites .
I mean, The other day , i found my twitter update about how I don't think that diamonds are a girl's best friend and how I would rather buy some gadgets with that money at the Sony gadget website. LOL. I have no idea where my twitter updates are being quoted. I hardly care either, coz ofcourse I am not really using twitter to communicate with real time friends. I am using it more as a microblogging tool. So nothing that i don't want random readers to read will be actually posted there on my public updates ever. Hopefully. Twitter also allows for the updates to be automatically updated on my blog as well and as you can see, I have my twitter updates on the right .
So far , so good, but for some reason , I can smell some addiction lurking underneath all my rampant twittering.
Yea, I also got to connect with some of my fav media groups, human rights groups and what not. That was the most gratifying part of me joining twitter. Being able to interact with my fav organizations on a one on one basis is so nice.
Anyways, gotta go now and check on twitter.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Dreams set in karoake bars ! Karaokebar nightmares!

Okay, first off, I do understand that this blog topic is more apt for my poetry blog but then i choose to post it here for a change.
Nightmares. happen when you are very stressed and have some electrical wave patters disturbances from a normal sleep patter .
So , anyways, I just had to make note of this night mare.
The dream starts off with me eating something somewhere at a higher level cafe or eatery , you know , like the upper level starbucks you sometimes find in some grocery stores and such.
So yeah, for some reaosn I am eating something and I look up and I am in this dark strange place and suddenly , I get up and grope around trying to look where I am . I realize that if I overlook from the balcony of the cafe down into the well there is a karoake bar and in the dark I can't really make out anything that is happenning down there except that there are some lights and I can make out a screen and strangely I am just not able to read what is coming up on the karoake screen .I seem to be having some reading difficulties . So, In the dark , I am squinting real hard to try to sing along but I am visibly shaken and scared and confused coz it is all dark and I am not able to make out where i am and there are people I can't recongnize in the dark and damn, I am not able to even read things that are coming up on the karoake screen and suddenly I hear a voice right next to me that says, "why don't you sit down!" and suddenly I realize that I am actually sitting on a couch and it is pitch dark and I am squinting again trying to look who is it that is sitting beside me and I hear that voice ask me "what is you name?" . In the dream I am kinda uncomfortable giving out my name to a stanger but I tell the name and then I ask, "so what is your name" and just then light flashes on this person's face. The first thing i see is a lip ring. Lip piercing ring and then this whitish white face, fully shaved head and very light colored eyes, you know, light honey grey colored eyes. and I am kinda trying not to look shocked (in the dream-trying to keep a straight face) and I ask again "what is your name" and I am in the dream still trying to figure if this is a girl or boy and as I ask the question I have decided that this is a girl and then the person though was eager to ask my name is not very hesistant to say his or her name . and so mumbles "mr. subu" and I am like " what mr. subu, what is your name" this time a lil sternly and then this person possibly says her name or some such .But then suddenly someone comes over offering what I think looks like sugar cubes on a plate and I am trying to grab some and am having horrible difficulties grabbing some sugar cubes. It is very distressing for me in the dream that I am not able to perform simple tasks.
At this point, I get up from my nightmare. so worried about my future , about my life decisions and what not.This sucks. Nightmares leave such a bad taste in the mouth. maaaan

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Am I too old to date Shia le beouf?world summit and korea!

Okay first off I hope i got the spelling right .
The question for today is not if the policemen who shoved a man at the world summit who then later died should be held accountable or not.

The question also doesn't seem to be if North Korea's reply to the UN almost sounded like a dangerous threat-Is North Korea serious talking that way? Huh? That Korean guy is talking about sovereignty and crap, but does he not understand the concept of Nuclear Non proliferation treaty and defaulting. He was talking like a self righteous***** . Anyways the question for today is not even that .

The question is , "Am I too old to date Shia Le Boeuf?"(is that how it is spelled?)
Here is the deal, I am exactly 30 yrs old, But yes, I look like I am 16 or 14 (which is kinda sad when people start talking down to me and calling me sweetie and what not ) .I am attractive looking too (As pointed out by many a stalker,much to my chargrin that I underdress even to this day,too much of attention gives me jitters , LOL) .
Now, I had to look up Shia's date of birth and looks like he is around 22 right now. That makes me theoretically 8 years younger than me. I do physically look younger than him though( shall we credit my wonderful youthful genes or my vegan diet?) . Anyways,So , given the situation; am I too old to date Shia le .......(what a difficult spelling)

My answer?
I think I am too old indeed. Why?
You see , I find him very attractive.Come on , it is commonly agreed that this kid (note that i use the word Kid) is good looking and all. But then, When I look at it this way that when I was 20, he prolly must have been 12, It kinda would make me a p***phile (don't want to really use the word here and all for no real reason) had i hit on a 12 year old kid while i was myself 20... I guess, of course ,now that he is 22 and I am 30, It may not look that bad . But then, It is actually still exactly the same.
You know, we never would have common cultural reference points to talk about . We are two different generations. When I was 12 , there were no cellphones, but when he was 12, cellphones were all over the place. So , given the time at which each one of us was a teen, our upbringing and cultural reference points automatically would be very very different. Whether we admit it or not, we are what we read or see or hear especially during our teen years. Also, imagine this, I must have watched a particular movie during my teen years and it must have left an impression on my psyche while the poor kid must not have even watched it coz it was PG or some such.
Dating is not just about mindless sex and such, right? Relationships will evolve to points where conversations need to happen and yes, great conversations sure can happen between a 22 yr old and a 30 yr old but only when as friends or as mentor and mentee , rather than as individuals who are dating. It is always better for people of the same age group to date. That way they can have common cultural reference points to cherish about together and they can discuss that particular hair fashion that was so in vogue when they were both teens and such. Ya know.
Like for eg, when i was in my early teens , shoulder pads for dresses were so in and now when i look at those pictures I find those dresses stupid. I have perfectly nice shoulders why add a bunchy shoulder pad there . But If I wanted to discuss shoulder pads with Shia, he won't perhaps really get it, though ofcourse he might listen to what i have to say. It is always better to be with people who will literally get the joke, coz they themselves wore shoulder pads back when they were in their teens too . Ya know.
Also, I start looking at it this way as well. When I was 22, if a 30 yr old man would try to date me(A creepy guy aka the senior resident asked me out for coffee and I actually had to tell him that I don't drink coffee ! ) , no matter how young he looked, It would creep me out . It just doesn't feel right to me .It never felt right to me as a 22 yr old .
As the younger person , you are being violated by the older person( I know that there is no need to get melodramatic about it all, but I had to ). Yes, people of different age groups can surely like and admire each other and can be friends too , but then the inability on the older person's part to let the lust go and treat the younger person with plain protective dignity kinda comes across as very creepy to me. If you, as a man of 65 yrs ( I won't take names ) cannot start being the older mentor to a younger woman and still want to view her with a sexual point of view, you are not really nice.People need to age gracefully and getting married to someone old enough to be your daughter is kinda indicative ageing not so gracefully. Where is the grace? It is also very selfish coz you know what, you are only thinking about you and your needs, you for one forget that the younger person will prolly be more happy with someone younger .
Anyways,I have noticed many old men that i come across in my own life, who kinda drool at me . As a 30 yr old I would rather that these 65 yr old men become my godfathers or father figures, rather than try and get into my pants.Is there no limit for greed? There are boundaries that better stay. If as a 65 yr old you still want to be the jock, it is a shameful thing. You need to at one point get out of it and start being this protective older person to younger people rather than still viweing them as sex objects. Ya know ! Also please remember that if a younger woman actually wants to willingly date you It is only due to some kind of innner insecurity where she feels that she deserves no better or she feels she can't do any better and that by itself is a stepping stone for a dysfuntional relationship later.
So yeah, If I as a 30 yr old can find these 65 yr old men creepy, I must then try real hard not to turn into this creepy person myself. What must I do ? No matter how tempting it appears, I just stay away from 22 yr olds. Which I do , btw. The thing is, since i look like I am 14, I have been asked out by 14 yr old boys at grocery stores and whoa that is a whole other story. Prolly these kids take one look at me and then think that I am their age or some such. whatever.
Infact , I think that an age difference of more than 5 years really is a demarcation point for the start of another generation. Just let them be. But then yes if not a meagre five years or age difference, Atleast make sure that you are not old enough to be their father or mother? How do you do that ? well, a girl attains puberty at 12, so she better not date anyone 10 or 12 yrs younger than her coz she is old enough to be his mother.
Males attain puberty around 14, so they better make sure that they never date or have sex with anyone more than 12-14 yrs younger. Self regulation is a great Idea.
So, yes, for now, Though Shia is a great looking guy, very sexy and what not, Though I am very young looking inspite of being 30, At the end of the day , The truth is that I am 30, And therefore he is a kid to me and i better look for some 30 yr old hot guys my own age so that we both can sit by the window in the late afternoons and joke about how all of us looked quite ridiculous in those shoulder padded shirts in OUR early teens. LOL
Having said all this, sometimes somethings can get really really out of control and in such situations all rules fly out of the window.though I talk about rules, I can still be open minded to understand special circumstances . No, I am not talking about Shia and Me. I am just letting you guys know that under very rare circumstances rules can be broken . enough of rambling though. Geez, poor Shia gets dragged into a blog entry for no reason. I have never ever even met him in real life.
p.s: Disclaimer is that I have no undue fixation with shoulder pads or Shia. Just had to use those topics as examples.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Looking up info on Ukraine and Ukranian folk tales

I mean, I looked up my ancestry and suddenly I am all over the internet looking for more information on Ukraine and what not just to see if my behavior and liking match the Ukraine people.. Ridiculous . I know. Eurasian steppes not only includes Ukraine but a bunch of other countries. gosh. Where am i gonna look up info. I don't even know where these countries are on the map(no, I used to be good at geography at one point in school, just need some brushing up )
Usually russians are short and pudgy and softened features . I think many of them have blue eyes and blond hair too. I have none of these. I am more the tall well, Suddenly It dawned on me as to why adopted children want to look up their biological parent. Why?
We all want to find out why we bahave the way we do , we want to associate it to community or genes or ancestry. We like simple answers like that rather than explanations like , a person's personality is built by his environment and the motivation he or she recieves during their growing years.We want simple stupid pointless answers like, "Oh you bite your nails just like your dad. Oh you are so punctual just like your dad" LOL. Whatever. hmmmmm..
so , yeah, I have started missing that book UKRANIAN FOLK TALES. Next stop , Amazon. Damn, they have the book but no pictures. I don't need the book coz i have the book but it is at my parent's home. I just wanted to window shop and have a look at the picture of the book for instant gratification of some strange kind.No luck.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Gene Pool from the Eurasian Steppes and Ukranian Folk tales

I know, I know, the blog header almost suits my poetry and poise blog rather than my oh so politically charged Ramble blog.But hey, I just had to post it here coz of yesterday's blog entry.
I went yada yada about gene pools and surnames and ancestry tracing and such.
I just had to come back to talk about how I traced my own ancestry. I took some time yesterday to figure out what my ancestry is . I think , I have a mixed gene pool and most of it came from the Eurasian steppes aka Urkanian Blood. But, damn,I look more French than Ukranian.
Speaking of Ukranian Gene pool, i was suddenly reminded of how when I was 11 my mom got a large Red book called UKRANIAN FOLK TALES . I was eleven but then it was vacation time and so i read the whole lot in a good five days. The book was fat, had some 600 odd pages. Sure, i was a fast reader at 11 to finish up a fat book . Anyways that the first time i came across the name called IVAN. All the stories and pictures looked so foreiign to me and to now suddenly find out that my gene pool is from Ukraine. Damn..Interesting.I think the book is still there at our home library. This time when i go back home, I am gonna take it out and read it all over again.Sure, it is a chiildren's illustrated book of folk tales, but still, will give me a view into the culture from where some of my ancestors migrated from.strange.Suddenly I feel all exotic and what not.LOL

Friday, April 3, 2009

Is it okay to ask for help?

Ya know, I am one of those people who finds fun in figuring things out all by myself. I once had a friend who was told me , "you are trying to reinvent the wheel all over again. why not just use the wheels that are already there and invented. It is okay to just ask for help. You always do this "
So yeah, I do that all the time. I know it. I do it coz first of , It is more challenging for me to do it that way, It keeps me interested and then when i do it all over again from scratch on my own I am more sure that i could not have been done any better any other way.

Also, I am very bad at blindly taking orders.I always itch to check and counter check stuff. yeah, this holds true only for things to be done. With people, sometimes i trust the worst kind of people at the bat of an eyelid while other times I tire the trustworthy person out and out by constantly !

So, I am also one of those people that will drive over and over and walk over and over the same block without asking for directions and then eventually finding the place I was looking for. I have broken this behavioral pattern every once in a while to ask for directions and people have gotten so carried away with my so called "Pretty girl asking for directions" image and kept on staring me up and down and checking me out and giggling and eventually giving me all wrong directions.
I get tired with juvenile drooling assholes.So, I don't ask for directions anymore.

I just registered with twitter . Why? I wanted to find out the difference between tweet and twit this and twit that and what not .I wanted to check it all out by myself. And then , As soon as i registered, I kinda instinctively clicked on HELP. Me, Willingly and meekly just Clicking on 'Help' Instead of figuring out things myself-Which is How i usually figure out newer interent social networking site features. Well, I don't have much time on hands, I need to know it all in like 15 min, so yeah, I asked for Help..There ya go

Is it okay to ask for Help? Yes, it is , If you are damn sure You can save time and energy by asking for help. Yes , It is okay if you are sure that the person you are asking for help knows the info you are looking for . Yes, it is okay to ask for help if you damn sure that you are perfectly incapable of figuring it out on your own. Ya know. first know your drawbacks and act accordingly.
My dad always tells me , Okay, sometimes tells me , " you never ask for help. Everyone asks for help , but you are Ms. do it all yourself. It doesn't work like that. You have to ask around "
hmmmmm...My take? " Well, A lot of people are clueless as I am . If i ask them for help, It is like the blind leading someone partially blind. Ya know . I am better off figuring things out myself , coz i am smart. "
Anyway, gotta go now.

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