About borrowing the positive energy

I know there is this theory going around, thanks to movies and psychology books, About how sometimes people borrow the positive energy from someone else and take it back home to their relationships ,and this positive energy is what they use to thrive their romantic relationship.
Examples would be of Men who are so turned on by their beautiful secretary..they take all the boost this lady gives to them by her presence around them at work and then are so happy due to that that they are rejuvenated in some strange way to actually give it to their wives at home and revive their marriage.I am not sure that such a scenario is healthy at all.It is not fair on this person from whom you are sucking out the positivity .
Sometimes women and men, both, spend hours talking and discussing things with "friends" of the opposite sex and then the positivity that comes out of such interaction,they take it back and thus make their romantic relationship lively.
I think that such a transfer of positivity is kinda ethically wrong..Because , well, i think that you are taking it from someone and don't give it back to them ..infact you take it from them and use them in some way to actually better your relationship with someone else.It would perhaps be right to give back the positivity to the same person you are taking something from..thus it would be a healthy give and take.I mean,if you need a third person to make you alive and rejuvenated, you might want to rethink this relationship with your official partner ...Maybe it is not great afterall.
I don't know.If i make someone happy and alive again and make them think and feel again, i would rather that they have the relationship with me and make me their official partner.I would really be annoyed if they take it all from me and go running to purge out that positivity on some other relationship.But, well, in which case, i think i would deliberately withhold exuding the positivity to this positivity stealer.They better fend for themselves and make their own lame ass relationships work all on their own.LOL .Sometimes these positivity stealers don't even know that someone else's positivity is what is making their lacklustre official relationships work.It is only when this third person deliberately withdraws generously doling out the positivity that the truth comes out.
Seriously.This is food for thought.If you feel that you are giving too much to a person who is not giving anything back and might perhaps just be using you for that positivity boost(they might be doing this subconsciously ofcourse,they might not even be aware that their other 'real' relationships heavily relies on the positivity transfer from this 'friendship' with this 'friend'), just stop giving them that positivity boost.Afterall, everyone deserves the reciprocation of positivity boost when they are doling it out.
hmmmmmmm....
this just made me think.Selfishness and calculativiness is a virtue for selfwelfare purposes.
Message to myself for today would be:
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR OWN NEEDS FIRST.IF YOU DOLE OUT POSITIVITY , YOU BETTER GET SOME RIGHT BACK.THERE ARE GOING TO BE NO FREEBIES.BECAUSE, SOMETIMES, NO MATTER HOW VALUABLE FREEBIES ARE SOMETIMES, THE VERY FACT THAT THEY ARE FREEBIES MAKES THEM BECOME UNDERVALUED GOODS SOMETIMES.

The Telephone Eavesdropping law !

Eavesdropping is the nastiest habit.
Now that Bush has managed to pass a law where the telecom companies are going to allow the so called Authorities to eavesdrop without a warrant, This is soon going to be a lawless land.
Telephone conversations are private.Unless , the govt has a official warrant and already on the verge of arresting a person but are waiting for further confirmation, they have no right to even request a warrant and without a warrant just eavesdropping on someone's conversations and snooping on someone's emails without their permission or knowledge is a crime.
This law is soon going to get challenged in court.It better be.
Who the hell told Bush it is okay to do so ?
I mean, let us all just eavesdrop on his conversations..Is he going to be okay with that?
Absolutely not.
We all better sue the hell out of this law and get this law impeached.
IT IS A QUESTION OF PERSONAL FREEDOM AND LIVING A FREE LIFE.i HATE EAVESDROPPERS AND I ABSOLUTELY HATE INVASION OF PRIVACY.NO one , Absolutely no one has the right to invade my privacy.

My comment about women being patronized at work!

I left a comment for peggy on her blog "Women in Science" On one of her blog entries where she relates this story of a smart female programming geek who automatically  got ignored for the longest time because all the men there assumed that she probably was someone who accompanied a male geek to that gathering.
I myself have experienced similar things at work and therefore,I left a comment there .

Here goes a copy of the comment i left for her there(comment slightly paraphrased down below)
Believe it or not, I have experienced so many such similar situations.Male colleagues start off with talking to me in a patronizing manner and start trying to explain to me how to do MY job.Sometimes it gets irritating when they give me tips and those tips basically suck and they have this demeanour where they present the tips to me as in they are only trying to help the "poor me" out.
Why would they assume that I won't know how to do my job is what I find very sad .It takes extra effort to get over that initial snub and let them know that I know better and can and will and have performed better than them even in most work situations.
Gender has nothing to do with competence.
People, IRRESPECTIVE of their gender, are either COMPETENT  or INCOMPETENT,dedicated to their job OR not!

These PATRONIZING MEN have been socially conditioned to look down upon women in general .
Sometimes Ironically,These are also the same men who have been socially conditioned to OPEN DOORS for women, and PULL OUT CHAIRS for women and TAKE CARE of the women in their lives.
WTF !!
Don't these women have hands? Can't they open their own doors, pull out their own chairs and look after themselves? I would rather have a man who just respects my intelligence and is there for me emotionally and someone who shares all chores , and let me open my own door..I have hands, I can and will open my own doors.

These PATRONIZING men were also AUTOMATICALLY CONDITIONED ,perhaps mostly due to the kind of women they have been used to being around at home during their childhood and all through their formative years.Constantly being exposed to submissive,financial dependant women during formative years allows them to presume that all women are dependant victims.First impressions are such lasting impressions on the mind.

This includes the SUBMISSIVE FINANCIALLY DEPENDANT MOTHER they probably had, or other such adult female figures with submissive qualities  that they came across all through their formative years.These women must have treated the men in their lives like superiors or some such and that EXPECTATION to be treated and talked to like a superior has STUCK in their minds.

As a woman in a society that assumes that "women and children" need to be "protected"(protected from whom and what and how?), I end up needing to go out of MY way to make sure these men respect me rather than just patronize me .

I have to,at times , needed to say out loud ,"Hey, I have the same educational degree as you and I am sure I would know how to do that  job just as much(if not better)than you would know how to do it!" and yet, it is still tough sometimes,needing to defend my talents like that .

But then, let me tell you, such "patronizing reactions" have often happened to me only AT THE BEGINNING of me entering a new place .Once people get to know me, they also end up understanding how talented and smart I am and I have then had Male colleagues often ask for my second opinion in all of their tough cases.Feels good, that, to be respected for what I am worth.

Coming back to SOCIAL CONDITIONING .It paves way for what men think they can or should assume a female colleague can or cannot accomplish,irrespective of what she can ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISH.

As more and more smart women give birth to children and as these children of such smart independent women grow up watching strong smart mothers at their homes, maybe the gender dynamics will change.Both female and male children,when they grow up watching financial dependant smart tough women, they grow up knowing that women can do things on their own.

Jealousy is such an uncontrolled emotion , Isn't it?

Jealousy i ssuch an uncontrolled emotion , Isn't it?
I for most part don't really get gripped by jealousy coz i tend to admire someone else's achievements with a healthy spirit that gets me inspired to do better .Morever the things i cherish and respect are things worth respecting.I am not really into a certain kind of face and nose.I am more into intelligence, originality and goodwill.
But, there are those very rare times , when i have suddenly caught myself get a teenie weenie bit jealous too.Just a lil while ago, i saw a picture of a man whom i have never met in person.I kinda like him(i rarely end up liking people without meeting them in person and i rarely like people unless they have taken my third degree vindication !).So yeah, i saw a picture of him with his apparently new found love.This new found love of his, seems like a very normal person.Nothing spectacular and not someone that meets my Special Intelligent person standard.My heart sank for a bit.Was is jealousy ? Or was it disappoitment that this man that i like a bit more than usual, selects such an ordinary person to be with? I have no idea.Really .I mean, Maybe if he had been with someone special and spectacular and more intelligent and some whom i would find appealing myself, I perhaps would not have experienced that sinking feeling i felt in my heart(which i suppose was a jealousy of some kind?) hmmm...Never mind.

For most part, on an average, i don't get jealous because i am kinda proud of who i am .I would think that jealousy stems from insecurity and an insecurity where a person feels that they cannot do anything to correct and set right that factor that causes them to feel insecure.Hmmmm.
I have seenNot-so-good looking people get jealous of others who look good coz for most part, they look at it as something they cannot correct about themselves. and sometimes i have seen people taking this jealousy overboard and actually trying horrible methods like body modification to make themselves look better.
My question is, plastic surgery might modify your external looks, but will it ever get rid of the insecurity and the ensuing jealousy inside your head?
I BET ,NO !
The insecurity that is inherent will never go away till you do away with your own silly and stupid definitions of good and great and nice .
I would highly suggest that people dwell on each of us being unique rather than each of us meeting up to a set standard of what is great..why? well,, the person that decides that they are not ideal looking, does so out of some of self disapproval and some inner insecurity about their looks.They get plastic surgery done , they might even end up looking exactly like what they wanted to look like.Yet, the very fact, they need to undergo surgery to look that perfect, constanly stays in their mind and constantly makes them feel even bad that they were never "idea"l looking in the first place.Inside of their head, each time , after surgery, anyone compliments them on their looks, It is like a subconscious slap on their face , almost something that sounds like , "Hey , you are actually bad looking,Look, you needed surgery to look good, You were never really good looking in the first place!"
The solution?People need to respect themselves first, respect their own selves enough to not be shallow enough to respect beauty beyond even their self respect and respect for personality, to go get surgery.They need to feel proud and adequate about themselves without makeup, without all those extra add ons.That is true healing.

Kenny G and magic !

I was first introduced to Kenny G's magic more than a decade ago (15yrs ago?Not sure ) when i watched the grammy's award night ,way back then. Those were some days..when i was just starting to be a teenager.
I went an purchased some Kenny G audio cassettes with the money i saved from my Gas money..Hmmm....
Kenny G has this magical soothing effect on me..where within minutes of starting to listening to the sax... i slowly go into the semi hypnotic mode and then after sometime , all i am doing is closing my eyes , and letting out satisfactory semigroans(no obscenity or sexual connotations intended at all) .
The Saxaphone by itself has a calming effect i suppose, but kenny somehow adds the depths to those already calming tones.
Years went by after that , and over those years, i moved on to Elvis, and REM and George Michael( i know i know..I moved to artists in a retrospective manner- but, hey, I am born much later than these artists, I still have the right to go back and discover their music and love them, don't I?), I move on to savage garden and a many other singers, songwriters and composers and As of now, IN 2008, MY LAPTOP still has kenny somewhere on its music collection but i never get myself around to actually listen to him anymore.
Just three days ago that changed, Finally ! I went back and looked at all my music archives, dished out the kenny G and clicked on PLAY, and within two minutes I was back in that semi nirvana state where i am going all "OH , wow, OH my god ,this is so great ! "

About priorities and prizes !

This is a comment i left on J's blog(reblog on try JM) and as it happens each time, My comments end up being spontaneous and deeper than i deliberately intended them to be-BTW, all my comments are honest and non malicious and are written as an attempt to discuss and provide my two cents on the issue being discussed and none of it meant as a biting acidic shite talking or anything.K?
so here goes a copy of my comment that i left on there on JM's blog entry about Goonies and troys ....Hmmm

Le cinq blog said...
I wonder why "jewels", "smoking hot girlfriend/s" ,"badass Mustang/s" are percieved or potrayed as the ultimate comebacks in movies or otherwise.They are projected as the 'ultimate achievement' to prove that one has done something in life.Hmmmm...I guess , what a mustang is for someone is what a long peaceful trek along a trail with no worries on the mind is for another(aka ME).To each one their own ,and ,therefore ;i kinda don't get the stereotypical generalizations of what is supposed to be the ultimate measure of success or happiness namely the mustangs and what not.hmmmmMaybe i am different .sighs
June 1, 2008 11:18 AM(this date is wrong coz tha blogger has it set to german time or some such )

How long does it take to understand someone?

How long does it take to truly understand that you have understood what needs to be understood to truly understand another person?
A year?
A lifetime?
Is it possible ever?

Creativity can be such a healer

Creativity can be such a healer , isn't it?
There are so many broken lives with past happennings that can never be erased (unless the concept of the timemachine going into the past is really a feasible option).There are a thousand things that cannot be denied..the fact that they happenned to us and the fact that that very fact can never be erased...That truth and that knowledge of that fact, It hurts..It pains..It gnaws at you constantly.
Sometimes, a conscious effort to try and forget or mask it or bury it deep in our heads just in an effort to moven on, doesn't help.
But, Yet..we all need to do it..We need to bury those past mishaps and move on.
Just when each of us is struggling to do it..This act of putting it all behind and making a new beginning...It is amazing, How a simple act of creativity just erases the pain..It is a miracle.
It is amazing how you forget it all, as you get immersed in the song that you are singing or how in that moment of dancing around , it feels all light.
Just like that , creativity makes life livable again

Obama talks but won't deliver

The presidential primaries ...Hmmmmm
I don't understand why it is being made into this contest of -black nominee and woman nominee..It should rather be just about who can deliver the goods at the end of the day irrespective of the color of their skin and irrespective of their gender.
It disheartens me very much that , Obama pretty much is perhaps the projected nominee...and I am not liking it at all
My gut instinct tells me that he won't deliver the goods
He is a sweet talker and it angers me each time when he just TALKS AT debates, thinking answering questions in debates is about saying the right thing or what he seemingly thinks is the right thing and all he talks is non technical and non specific sweet talk.
He is highly inexperienced and inequipped to acutally deal with and solve problems when it comes to it.
I feel sorry for this country, which is not even equipped enough to know the difference between yapping and actually providing technically sound non romantic solutions to the various problems plaguing the country.
Obama seems to know that by smiling around and saying some silly but pleasant sounding stuff, he can manouver his way to becoming the nominee and even a president...
But ,i mean..If a guy is not even determined enough to be able to give up smoking -an addicitive habit which even in his own words ,"smoking is a deal breaker" with his wife and still resorts to nicotine gum...I mean.It is so easy to yap , isn't it..But when it actually comes around to doing what you promised, you already know and don't care that you won't really deliver.
He is a bull shiter .
It distresses me that people care less for real actions or a real resume and all they care is a smile and some silly ass romantic sounding babble which might not be logically or technically sound but just is nice to hear to .. It makes me sad..The country is digging it's own grave.He will just make tall promises and i assure you that he will fall short in every single one of them.
IF EVERYONE IS OF THE OPINION THAT EMPTY PROMISES NEVER HURT ANYONE..WELL.THIS TIME..THESE EMPTY PROMISES ARE GOING TO HURT A WHOLE COUNTRY

About this blog

This a ramble blog.
I am inclined to resort to rambling every now and then , if not , always.
Hence, this ramble blog
I can't promise to be consistent in my blogging habits.
I tend to go into pupa and cocoon mode every now and then and hence, the ramble blog, though is intended to be a daily ramble blog , might occasionally turn into a not-so-daily ramble blog
This blog is going to be mostly about my funny observations.
I can be quite funny if i decide that you deserve my funniness..LOL
This blog is also going to be the dump blog and will include all the blogs that won't fit in any of my other blogs.
Enjoy !