About borrowing the positive energy

I know there is this theory going around, thanks to movies and psychology books, About how sometimes people borrow the positive energy from someone else and take it back home to their relationships ,and this positive energy is what they use to thrive their romantic relationship.
Examples would be of Men who are so turned on by their beautiful secretary..they take all the boost this lady gives to them by her presence around them at work and then are so happy due to that that they are rejuvenated in some strange way to actually give it to their wives at home and revive their marriage.I am not sure that such a scenario is healthy at all.It is not fair on this person from whom you are sucking out the positivity .
Sometimes women and men, both, spend hours talking and discussing things with "friends" of the opposite sex and then the positivity that comes out of such interaction,they take it back and thus make their romantic relationship lively.
I think that such a transfer of positivity is kinda ethically wrong..Because , well, i think that you are taking it from someone and don't give it back to them ..infact you take it from them and use them in some way to actually better your relationship with someone else.It would perhaps be right to give back the positivity to the same person you are taking something from..thus it would be a healthy give and take.I mean,if you need a third person to make you alive and rejuvenated, you might want to rethink this relationship with your official partner ...Maybe it is not great afterall.
I don't know.If i make someone happy and alive again and make them think and feel again, i would rather that they have the relationship with me and make me their official partner.I would really be annoyed if they take it all from me and go running to purge out that positivity on some other relationship.But, well, in which case, i think i would deliberately withhold exuding the positivity to this positivity stealer.They better fend for themselves and make their own lame ass relationships work all on their own.LOL .Sometimes these positivity stealers don't even know that someone else's positivity is what is making their lacklustre official relationships work.It is only when this third person deliberately withdraws generously doling out the positivity that the truth comes out.
Seriously.This is food for thought.If you feel that you are giving too much to a person who is not giving anything back and might perhaps just be using you for that positivity boost(they might be doing this subconsciously ofcourse,they might not even be aware that their other 'real' relationships heavily relies on the positivity transfer from this 'friendship' with this 'friend'), just stop giving them that positivity boost.Afterall, everyone deserves the reciprocation of positivity boost when they are doling it out.
hmmmmmmm....
this just made me think.Selfishness and calculativiness is a virtue for selfwelfare purposes.
Message to myself for today would be:
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR OWN NEEDS FIRST.IF YOU DOLE OUT POSITIVITY , YOU BETTER GET SOME RIGHT BACK.THERE ARE GOING TO BE NO FREEBIES.BECAUSE, SOMETIMES, NO MATTER HOW VALUABLE FREEBIES ARE SOMETIMES, THE VERY FACT THAT THEY ARE FREEBIES MAKES THEM BECOME UNDERVALUED GOODS SOMETIMES.