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Tags: Anthropology,geography,Italians

Women asking for raises at work and hitting the glass ceiling

I recently read this article about How sometimes women don't get the raises they deserve at work just because they are women and how asking for a raise can actually ostracise them at the workplace.
Here is where you can find the original article.

Can "Nice Girls" Negotiate?

2:18 PM Wednesday December 2, 2009
by Whitney Johnson http://blogs.harvardbusiness.org/cs/2009/12/can_nice_girls_negotiate.html?referral=00134



I am a 30 old female physician, A very very hardworking one at that. and this issue is very dear to my heart..Hence i left a comment on there .
here goes my comment
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December 11, 2009 at 9:47 PM

I agree.
It is always better to ask what you think you deserve to be paid.
If they don't give you the raise or shun you ,it is okay.Like Whitney rightly points out,"You don't go away empty handed.You get information" and when the time is right you can leave if you are dissatisfied with the pay-scale.
Also, the only way to change this attitude that when women ask they are being NON FEMININE, is to come out in large numbers and start asking just like men do.
As more women enter the work force and assume higher and bigger offices at work, and as more women start asking for what they want, Men will get used to that scenario that women ask too and that trait is not a NON FEMININE one.
That is how we break glass ceilings.
This is me, A female physician trying to break glass ceilings everywhere , for myself and for my fellow women workforce.
cheers to all

— lecinqblog

About choosing Medicine over Math!

Sometimes i miss math.
Math is like mind exercise.. keeps you
interested.
I feel like i Missed out on a major part of what i enjoy
thoroughly..but then, see, at that juncture after high school, I had to sit down and
decide what was most important to me..math or medicine..for me , I
would have been far more miserable had i left behind
medicine..so..relative choice> medicine..
Medicine is vast and tough ,so yeah I don't regret my decision for
choosing it over math..but do miss math a lot..:((

Medicine is not quite different from math though..Lot of information, Lot of memory, Lots of analytical skills..Medicine needs some more skill >> in terms of Interactions, hand skills, skills to perform procedures, stills to interact with patients, skill of insight etc etc..So, yes,,Don't really regret that i chose Medicine over math.
I would like a reconnection with math though..coz my mind is too eager to keep learning new stuff all the time..I sit there not learning anything new for long and i get bored..I like my mind to be constantly challenged..LOL

Humanity as a combined mass of INTER-APPRECIATION and appraisal

I am just coming back from Jason's blog entry called A WINTER'S TALE  http://freshnessfactorfivethousand.blogspot.com/2009/12/winters-tale.html

Jason is a bundle of positivity.. He is one person who manages to calm me down.. I feel like a child and feel convinced and taken care of by this timely blog entries with timely wise advice.. It is nice to be the recepient of well thought out advice you see. Most of the time I am the smart person giving out very insightful advice to others.. That constant giving out advice and love to everyone else without getting much back can be emotionally draining.Where do I go back to get my emotional tanks recharged? Sometimes , I make a phone call to my sister, sometimes i tweet tweets to mr.you(in cryptic codes and he codes back), but mostly I go to Jason's blog and .....INSTANT REACHARGE.

So, yes, in this blog entry, Jason is mostly talking about his trip to newyork and his performance for kids and how Rob thomas has been doing this for 10 years ( hey, good job , Rob!) and all that and suddenly he writes this following paragraph.Please note that whatever is in green is what jason wrote and whatever follows in red is what comment i left for him on there..k?

*********************
QUOTE FROM HIS BLOG ENTRY

jason quote: 

 "Observing the world observing world wonders is a favorite pastime. I get to be in the presence of natural beauty, and also the beauty of the curious visitor, the human in action - the human in awe. Like a fly on the wall in the Louvre, I get to view both the art and the onlooker and see how they need each other. Without the foot traffic, a museum is just another empty warehouse. Therefore, without acknowledgment, a human is just an empty vessel. It is we who breathe life into each other. Thank you for seeing me and bringing me to life. I hope these words reach you and give you a sense of relatedness. You’re the painting I’m presently staring at and the value I put on that is priceless."

UNQUOTE

 

MY COMMENT on his blog

  And, I so agree.. that we do as humans and as a community cause appraisal of the other person by recognizing and appreciating their existence.
Like they say, If a tree fell down in a forest, would it still make a sound? Yes it would make a sound..LOL>. that is the other side of the story.. but anyways..
yes, we are a combined mass of energy. Gosh,each time i come here and read your blog.. My own thoughts come pouring out and then i have to go post this comment on my own blog..I am gonna quote you there and link back to this blog..k? cheers and hugs and love For jase and friends.

December 24, 2009 2:23 AM 

   

Rob reads the chinese script on my broken Ceramic chopsticks

I love ceramics.There is something very artistic about ceramics .Ceramics are like art you can use everyday.
I also love chopsticks,any chopsticks, ceramic or otherwise.
Needless to say, when i chanced upon a chinese artisan family  selling ceramic ware, I just couldn't resist at all.
Ended up buying a large platter and some ceramic chopsticks.
Speaking of ceramics, Most ceramics that i buy end up breaking months down the line-all due to  my superfast dish-washing style(no I don't use the dishwasher-just hand wash and air dry-saving energy!)
The ceramic chopsticks met their end at the sink.
I still retained a piece of the ceramic chopstick for the sake of memory.

FASTFORWARD zzzzzz screetch halt at 2009

I get on twitter.
There I meet @weirdchina aka Rob.He is an entrepreneur..Originally from the US but now resides with his wife and kids in China.He actually is raising kids in China.I find the task of raising kids a tough job in itself but raising kids in china..boy! tougher?.
He is a very positive person .I always tell him that he reminds me of Jay Leno and The guy from this sitcom 'King of queens'.Ya know,'The jolly go lucky' classic American family guys..LOL
Rob constantly pitches the cause of China, saying how much of the world's future lies in china.
And I agree, primarily because ; the Chinese trump everyone else by their sheer numbers
You see, every fifth person speaks Chinese.But again,,I pitch for the USA as always.. I am like that.

Just a week ago,while I was cleaning up my kitchen( I might need to move soon, so , a lot of cleaning up going on in my home) and I came across this broken piece of ceramic chopstick inside one of my spoon holding containers.
And suddenly I realized that there was a lot of script written on it .Chinese script? Again, here , I only presume it is Chinese, coz I bought it from a Chinese artisan family that made the ceramics themselves.
And suddenly I was reminded of Rob..I thought.."Hey, Why not make Rob read this script for me"
So, I asked him if he will read it If I upload a pic and Rob agreed.
So.once Rob first comes here and reads the script for me .I shall add a postscript to this blog, with his translation included.Take over Rob!



=====================
Post script dated Dec 24 2009
Rob says that the script is Ancient chinese and difficult to decipher. However he says that if he manages to decipher it he shall let me know.
Thanks for taking the time, Rob!

The Aussie man sexuality factor!!-PART 1-TYPE 1

 In Australia, the MALE:FEMALE RATIO IS VERY SKEWED.
As in , for every male there is no corresponding female.The number of females is much lesser than the men, especially in very rural remote parts of Australia.

What is the effect of this skewed Male:female  ratio? 
All men don't have a female partner even if they want to have one..If there is only that many females, some men are going to end up with no mate.
That leaves them High and dry.

Also, I note that it is a trend in Australia for the men to either get married very early -like,at the age of  19-23yrs  or marry very very late,like, in their 40s..hmmmmmm

That explains why Aussie men behave the way they do /Their behavior is a little different from how,say, American men behave, in terms of sexuality, their view about women,how they interact with women.

I DON'T LIKE STEREOTYPING OR GENERALIZING BEHAVIORS , but unfortunately i DO NOTE A SIMILARITY in how all aussie men will approach a SHEILA (Rural aussie for woman).It is a widespread social trend in Australia..
I don't know if one aussie man took cue from another and now this male behavior has become a common place  male trend.
This pattern however I note is a general TREND, which is why i blog about it,though i don't seek to STEREOTYPE BEHAVIORS!

 I note that Aussie men are very uninhibited in their comments on female anatomy.(Don't get me wrong.UNINHIBITED,as in,being HONEST, is good,but UNINHIBITED WHILE BEING STUPIDLY CRASS IS not flattering if you are a very smart woman who wants some attention to your organ called brain, but they are busy looking at the Titties!)

I notice that australian men are blunt like that.
Blunt is nice,only if during a PERSONAL interaction with somebody very familiar.Not on the street from a random group of wingmen especially when I DON'T CARE what they think of my tittie size or whether they would do me,coz,I sure WON'T DO THEM!

I find it primitive and immature and cowardly to a certain extent.Almost like a bunch of Hicks(uneducated farmers) standing there and all they know is that the ladies has them some good  titties.

I have nothing against farmers at all and I DO NOT CHOOSE TO STEREOTYPE FARMER BEHAVIORS,coz i know of some very handsome ,some very supersmart, male farmers(and female farmers too),who may talk about titties, but not in an ignorant blunt way.They might talk about breasts in a matter of fact way but not in a stupid ignorant sexually frustrated way!

The use of the word "TITTIES" is a very immature ,infantalized VERSION of AN ADULT WOMAN'S ADULT BODY PART called breasts,which SOMEHOW,in the vocabulary of men who  fear ADULT WOMEN,then became TITS,and then ,TITTIES?

Almost as if the "titties" are an independently existing entity or play toy,OUTSIDE of the woman and her personality!.Gosh...ya know!
As if the woman is not a woman at all, she is just a coat hanger for Titties!



So,yeah,this WINGMAN-HERD-mentality ,I think it is a cultural trend there,some unhealthy ANIMAL AGGRESSIVENESS !
Actually,WINGMAN SYNDROME is a trend NOT just in australia but in any chauvinistic culture which commodifies and objectifies women in the name of "family values"!

A healthy STRAIGHTFORWARD confident,Animal aggressivness is just fine with me.
It turns me on too, but it needs to happen in addition to a real intellectual interaction otherwise.
I can't have some ignorant little fucktard with no real brain cells come to me and tell me about my titties and expect me to have PORN-STYLE-ORGASMS!@

Coming back to the wingman syndrome!
The wingmen aussies are sitting in a group of five or six,, and then they don't really care for any intellectual interaction,they just like comparing the tittie sizes of all the women they know.hmmmm.
Sexuality is good,open sexual discussions are good too.But both women and men should able to do it together in a healthy way.
gender segregated sex discussions often OBJECTIFY the oppposite gender and end up stereotyping them as if they,they are not INDIVIDUALS but just sex clones all behaving in the same way!

THE WING MAN SYNDROME
They like to examine women as part of discussion within a  group of   hyperhormoned,hypersexed,sexually frustrated males,whom I endearingly(not!) label WINGMEN!
Wingmen are usually AFRAID to operate alone.They need other ,similarly inadequate,insecure men as support while lashing their tongues .They just want to watch..They don't want to take it any further coz it interferes with their surferboy,freeboy, aussie boy life.
Again,we know a lot of wingmen clubs exist in america too,expecially in the bible thumping chauvinistic circles where jesus was born out of immaculate conception and god created women out of the ribs of men(wtf!) and GOD is supposedly male though ofcourse his mom possibly had to first give birth to him logically and biologically speaking!

The aussie man's UNHEALTHY VIEWS ABOUT STEADY RELATIONSHIPS WITH WOMEN.
This is possibly again very prevelant in britain and other chauvinistic cultures too. and was borrowed by aussie land during the british "empire" period!
gee the british are solely responsibly for SPREADING chauvinistic ideas all over the world during the colonization period.(asshole culture)
Again,coming back to aussie men viewing monogamous marriages  as some kind of necessary punishment.Hmmm,I think it is very unhealthy when men (or women even) start viewing a relationship as a stick in their smooth running wheel but yet has to be partaken of for social and sexual benefits!

Dear men,(or women)You know why you feel you lost your freedom when you get into a monogamous steady relationship?
Coz you are chosing the wrong partners.
You are chosing partners by looking at them from far, to see if their titty size matches your expectations and then,boom you want to marry them. WRONG CHOICES.
Same thing holds good for women,where sometimes  out of a financial desperation can make themselves choose someone who will sponsor them financially during the marriage.             
                                 No wonder you end with incompatible partners , who may have the right titties or right money,but don't have anything else in common in with you.You guys have no common interests besides the sex or money and soon the marriage feels like a BUSINESS AGGREEMENT! obviously such business aggreements are  going to eventually make you feel like , all relationships are going to make you lose your freedom.


***************************************************
More about ozzie man sexuality 

For me personality, SEXUALITY is a very individual thing.You should develop it on your own,, as an individual, not as part of a group of wingmen,,where all of you sit together and discuss what kind of stomachs are supposedly attractive and  what kind shall score 10/10 and what don't.

But Aussie men do that.
They sit together and as a COMMUNITY OF sex starved aussie men decide what is a great body type and what is not. AND ALL OF THEM WILL RELIGIOUSLY USE THAT AS A BENCHMARK TO compare a sheila with .

Dudes, you are all different individuals. you are all supposed to think alone. I notice a HERD MENTALITY.
A woman  has a single vagina coz she can F*&k only one man at a time. So, for a particular moment, only one man gets to do it..Don't combinedly degrade her to imaginary COMMUNITY F&^ng this way by sitting and discussing women's bodies and the possible sex over drinks..please?Coz, it is indicative of sexual frustration.UNHEALTHY.

There is a sanctity and privacy to s*x.It is a very private act..It has got more to emotions than you can ever imagine. It is NOT just about the right BODY PARTS,,it is about how much you appreciate each other mentally that comes out in the type and quality of orgasm that happens.

But of course, the Aussie men are so SEX STARVED, They don't care about mental connections at all.They are like, 'Dude, just give me a regular woman to F*ck and that is enough for me..who needs more..A regular F*&k  on a regular basis is just fine!"

Are all aussie guys are like that?
Unfortunately, i notice a trend.. which is disturbing.. You go to a kylie Minogue concert and then all those 40 year old men with their beers in hand stand there and scream uncontrollably at every oldstyle tittilating move that kylie belts out..with her oldstyle short dresses .I mean. she cooes like a cat and they all scream like they have seen heaven..
I am thinking in my head, "Geez, what primitive needs..NO sophistication.No needs of the mind..they don't seem to be needing any mental or intellectual stimulation at all to achieve the sexual ecstasy they manage to achieve just by watching a scantily dressed woman coo " Is that all it takes Aussie men? coz , that is EASY!
I notice a similar trend in many aussie men, in terms of behavior.
In speech  patterns and such.yes, I know, each country develops an accent and most inhabitants have that accent. But what i mean is the content of conversations ,in phrases and in the styling of thoughtprocess and such!
Ya know!

BACK TO AUSSIE MAN SEXUALITY THEORIES
They are easy.
They have no complicated needs.
They just need a woman who will be there at home at night for a regular easy fuck.
They don't want to try too hard.
She ofcourse must have good titties etc etc..(no compromise on looks or anything , k!)
You give them a good convenient mindless F*&k withou any intellectual interaction, they like it.
If you are a kylie clone, even better-'some blonde hair, some colored eyes, white skin(yeah racism very rampant -undercurrents, though they are politically correct for most part-for appearance sakes)
So, when an aussie man manages to get A MINDLESS FUCK like that, he then is grateful to the woman for the sexual innuendo and what not and forever is  "FAMILY MAN" to his sheila!(sarcasm may please be noted!)

About aussie men being grateful to ANY ole woman:
 ..Just coz she has a large boobs and a vagina.
That is all they need.
They don't need any personality..they just need the woman parts..any woman will do .
Any decent looking one will do..
who cares about the personality? Do women even have personality?
The aussie men are fine as long as this woman is readily available for regular s*x at home each night..ya know.
                            The convenient fuck with the domestic wench, who will also do your housework and take care of your children and possibly work outside too, while you yourself are busy chugging beers with fellow aussie wingmates and going surfing..and being this surfer boy,aussie boy ,free boy idiot!

To me...this attitude is pretty old school--
Where OLD SCHOOL MEN , go outside and seek emotional or intellectual companionship with other fellow men or other women at work or otherwise and come back and be the puppy dog in bed each night with this woman coz she is convenient  and available on beck and call right beside you in your own bed!
She maybe a perfect stranger to you  intellecutally or otherwise coz you are not mentally connected to her ..but LO AND BEHOLD..the Aussie man doesn't care.
All he cares is about having a woman at arm's length for a ready F**k at night , each night...he doesn't care about personality at all..

If you are an American woman..you might find a stark difference between How American men court you and how Aussie men will..

American men are more sophisticated and seek intellectual hooking up as well..
For the aussie man?
hmmmm. READ ABOVE.
------------------.
And BTW
Why is the male:female ratio so bad in Australia?...
There is  really a dearth of females in Aussie land..geez..So much so that men have become sexually frustrated and not picky in whom they want to be with ..as long as she is female,,she will do..Geez!
I think i have said enough..no more ,,no more..JUST HAD TO TYPE OUT MY FRUSTRATION is all

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Next blog entry in this series will be about HOW JAPANESE MEN SUCK..yeah,,they suck in a whole weird creepy way very different from Aussie men.. keep waiting for the next entry in this series..but it will be months down the line. I am still studying my subjects..LOL
JAN 2014 UPDATE:WOW..it has been years since i wrote this blog entry and i haven't yet written the japanese man blog entry..WOW,SO MUCH FOR PROCRASTINATION