The 2009 round up blog piece meal-Public events that happened in 2009?

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Another update:
yesterday when i went to sleep i suddenly realized that i never ever mentioned "SWINE FLU" off all things in my "public events" category on the round up blog
God only knows how many people twittered non-stop for months just about Swine flu and nothing else.And ,
Here i am coming back only on feb 11,2010, having suddenly remembering that the "swine flu"topic totally slipped my mind when i made the round up blog for 2009.
btw..I think the scare of swine flu happened coz people died en masse in mexico..
where else but mexico can we expect a swine flu outbreak?after all they are the pig lard tortilla people..LOL
hmmmm.anyways..sometimes when the same thing gets bombarded to your head day after day,months on end, your mind shuts it out and you end up developing a resistance to it..you start ignoring it..must like AUDITORY FATIGUE.you keep hearing a noise day in and day out>>your body and ear learns to kinda ignore that constant noise over time..so.all that too much talk of swine flu kinda totally made me forget about it altogether after  a while, i guess.Hence the slip of memory while making a round up blo.
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 update:
IRAN ELECTION AND AIR FRANCE CRASH TOP THE LIST.
Funny how I forgot about them altogether when i first made this blog entry.I had to come back today on jan 21 2010 and update the blog.
The AirFrance flight crashed into the sea.Obviously no one survived. And the blackbox that was supposed to tell us what happened couldn't be found or was damaged beyond reclamation.Great. THE BLACKBOX..hmmm.
Anyways, The Iran election was big on Twitter.Funny how It totally slipped my mind when I made this Roundup blog.The election was believed to be an eyewash.Protests ensued.Govt. became a tyrant.Protestors got killed/kidnapped or abducted .hmmmm.sad ..
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Michael jackson died. I remember all of us tweeting like hell about it ..A lot of people died of drug overdoses in 2009.. hmmmmmm.
Tiger woods of all people got caught cheating .. I have no idea how it is any of our business. But again, everyone tweeted like hell about it..
Avatar got released and everyone went ga ga ga over it..personally I think the movie is overrated.. If at all you are making an animated movie, I would presume you go overboard....But , naaaah! ..the woman character still has hemispherical boobs(normal woman have conical boobs, not hemispherical ones), the male character still goes around taming dragons like humans tame horses. and gee.. THAT is not what i call an original imagination. If at all you imagine..imagine outrageously,,why imagine only in terms of things you already know or have seen in real life? So, yeah, whatever.
The copenhagen summit happened very recently.It was heartening to watch the police just beat up people like that.. No one has a right to beat up anyone else, no matter what. plain and simple.I am glad, Obama did something and brought about atleast a tentative promise deal which states  that the actual countries responsible for so much of  pollution are the very ones that will fund cleaning up the pollution. Fair and square. yeah?Lets hope it gets better

Fwd: Geographic labeling of Italians?Mediterranean,European or western?

Tags: Anthropology,geography,Italians

Women asking for raises at work and hitting the glass ceiling

I recently read this article about How sometimes women don't get the raises they deserve at work just because they are women and how asking for a raise can actually ostracise them at the workplace.
Here is where you can find the original article.

Can "Nice Girls" Negotiate?

2:18 PM Wednesday December 2, 2009
by Whitney Johnson http://blogs.harvardbusiness.org/cs/2009/12/can_nice_girls_negotiate.html?referral=00134



I am a 30 old female physician, A very very hardworking one at that. and this issue is very dear to my heart..Hence i left a comment on there .
here goes my comment
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December 11, 2009 at 9:47 PM

I agree.
It is always better to ask what you think you deserve to be paid.
If they don't give you the raise or shun you ,it is okay.Like Whitney rightly points out,"You don't go away empty handed.You get information" and when the time is right you can leave if you are dissatisfied with the pay-scale.
Also, the only way to change this attitude that when women ask they are being NON FEMININE, is to come out in large numbers and start asking just like men do.
As more women enter the work force and assume higher and bigger offices at work, and as more women start asking for what they want, Men will get used to that scenario that women ask too and that trait is not a NON FEMININE one.
That is how we break glass ceilings.
This is me, A female physician trying to break glass ceilings everywhere , for myself and for my fellow women workforce.
cheers to all

— lecinqblog

About choosing Medicine over Math!

Sometimes i miss math.
Math is like mind exercise.. keeps you
interested.
I feel like i Missed out on a major part of what i enjoy
thoroughly..but then, see, at that juncture after high school, I had to sit down and
decide what was most important to me..math or medicine..for me , I
would have been far more miserable had i left behind
medicine..so..relative choice> medicine..
Medicine is vast and tough ,so yeah I don't regret my decision for
choosing it over math..but do miss math a lot..:((

Medicine is not quite different from math though..Lot of information, Lot of memory, Lots of analytical skills..Medicine needs some more skill >> in terms of Interactions, hand skills, skills to perform procedures, stills to interact with patients, skill of insight etc etc..So, yes,,Don't really regret that i chose Medicine over math.
I would like a reconnection with math though..coz my mind is too eager to keep learning new stuff all the time..I sit there not learning anything new for long and i get bored..I like my mind to be constantly challenged..LOL

Humanity as a combined mass of INTER-APPRECIATION and appraisal

I am just coming back from Jason's blog entry called A WINTER'S TALE  http://freshnessfactorfivethousand.blogspot.com/2009/12/winters-tale.html

Jason is a bundle of positivity.. He is one person who manages to calm me down.. I feel like a child and feel convinced and taken care of by this timely blog entries with timely wise advice.. It is nice to be the recepient of well thought out advice you see. Most of the time I am the smart person giving out very insightful advice to others.. That constant giving out advice and love to everyone else without getting much back can be emotionally draining.Where do I go back to get my emotional tanks recharged? Sometimes , I make a phone call to my sister, sometimes i tweet tweets to mr.you(in cryptic codes and he codes back), but mostly I go to Jason's blog and .....INSTANT REACHARGE.

So, yes, in this blog entry, Jason is mostly talking about his trip to newyork and his performance for kids and how Rob thomas has been doing this for 10 years ( hey, good job , Rob!) and all that and suddenly he writes this following paragraph.Please note that whatever is in green is what jason wrote and whatever follows in red is what comment i left for him on there..k?

*********************
QUOTE FROM HIS BLOG ENTRY

jason quote: 

 "Observing the world observing world wonders is a favorite pastime. I get to be in the presence of natural beauty, and also the beauty of the curious visitor, the human in action - the human in awe. Like a fly on the wall in the Louvre, I get to view both the art and the onlooker and see how they need each other. Without the foot traffic, a museum is just another empty warehouse. Therefore, without acknowledgment, a human is just an empty vessel. It is we who breathe life into each other. Thank you for seeing me and bringing me to life. I hope these words reach you and give you a sense of relatedness. You’re the painting I’m presently staring at and the value I put on that is priceless."

UNQUOTE

 

MY COMMENT on his blog

  And, I so agree.. that we do as humans and as a community cause appraisal of the other person by recognizing and appreciating their existence.
Like they say, If a tree fell down in a forest, would it still make a sound? Yes it would make a sound..LOL>. that is the other side of the story.. but anyways..
yes, we are a combined mass of energy. Gosh,each time i come here and read your blog.. My own thoughts come pouring out and then i have to go post this comment on my own blog..I am gonna quote you there and link back to this blog..k? cheers and hugs and love For jase and friends.

December 24, 2009 2:23 AM 

   

Rob reads the chinese script on my broken Ceramic chopsticks

I love ceramics.There is something very artistic about ceramics .Ceramics are like art you can use everyday.
I also love chopsticks,any chopsticks, ceramic or otherwise.
Needless to say, when i chanced upon a chinese artisan family  selling ceramic ware, I just couldn't resist at all.
Ended up buying a large platter and some ceramic chopsticks.
Speaking of ceramics, Most ceramics that i buy end up breaking months down the line-all due to  my superfast dish-washing style(no I don't use the dishwasher-just hand wash and air dry-saving energy!)
The ceramic chopsticks met their end at the sink.
I still retained a piece of the ceramic chopstick for the sake of memory.

FASTFORWARD zzzzzz screetch halt at 2009

I get on twitter.
There I meet @weirdchina aka Rob.He is an entrepreneur..Originally from the US but now resides with his wife and kids in China.He actually is raising kids in China.I find the task of raising kids a tough job in itself but raising kids in china..boy! tougher?.
He is a very positive person .I always tell him that he reminds me of Jay Leno and The guy from this sitcom 'King of queens'.Ya know,'The jolly go lucky' classic American family guys..LOL
Rob constantly pitches the cause of China, saying how much of the world's future lies in china.
And I agree, primarily because ; the Chinese trump everyone else by their sheer numbers
You see, every fifth person speaks Chinese.But again,,I pitch for the USA as always.. I am like that.

Just a week ago,while I was cleaning up my kitchen( I might need to move soon, so , a lot of cleaning up going on in my home) and I came across this broken piece of ceramic chopstick inside one of my spoon holding containers.
And suddenly I realized that there was a lot of script written on it .Chinese script? Again, here , I only presume it is Chinese, coz I bought it from a Chinese artisan family that made the ceramics themselves.
And suddenly I was reminded of Rob..I thought.."Hey, Why not make Rob read this script for me"
So, I asked him if he will read it If I upload a pic and Rob agreed.
So.once Rob first comes here and reads the script for me .I shall add a postscript to this blog, with his translation included.Take over Rob!



=====================
Post script dated Dec 24 2009
Rob says that the script is Ancient chinese and difficult to decipher. However he says that if he manages to decipher it he shall let me know.
Thanks for taking the time, Rob!

The Aussie man sexuality factor!!-PART 1-TYPE 1

 In Australia, the MALE:FEMALE RATIO IS VERY SKEWED.
As in , for every male there is no corresponding female.The number of females is much lesser than the men, especially in very rural remote parts of Australia.

What is the effect of this skewed Male:female  ratio? 
All men don't have a female partner even if they want to have one..If there is only that many females, some men are going to end up with no mate.
That leaves them High and dry.

Also, I note that it is a trend in Australia for the men to either get married very early -like,at the age of  19-23yrs  or marry very very late,like, in their 40s..hmmmmmm

That explains why Aussie men behave the way they do /Their behavior is a little different from how,say, American men behave, in terms of sexuality, their view about women,how they interact with women.

I DON'T LIKE STEREOTYPING OR GENERALIZING BEHAVIORS , but unfortunately i DO NOTE A SIMILARITY in how all aussie men will approach a SHEILA (Rural aussie for woman).It is a widespread social trend in Australia..
I don't know if one aussie man took cue from another and now this male behavior has become a common place  male trend.
This pattern however I note is a general TREND, which is why i blog about it,though i don't seek to STEREOTYPE BEHAVIORS!

 I note that Aussie men are very uninhibited in their comments on female anatomy.(Don't get me wrong.UNINHIBITED,as in,being HONEST, is good,but UNINHIBITED WHILE BEING STUPIDLY CRASS IS not flattering if you are a very smart woman who wants some attention to your organ called brain, but they are busy looking at the Titties!)

I notice that australian men are blunt like that.
Blunt is nice,only if during a PERSONAL interaction with somebody very familiar.Not on the street from a random group of wingmen especially when I DON'T CARE what they think of my tittie size or whether they would do me,coz,I sure WON'T DO THEM!

I find it primitive and immature and cowardly to a certain extent.Almost like a bunch of Hicks(uneducated farmers) standing there and all they know is that the ladies has them some good  titties.

I have nothing against farmers at all and I DO NOT CHOOSE TO STEREOTYPE FARMER BEHAVIORS,coz i know of some very handsome ,some very supersmart, male farmers(and female farmers too),who may talk about titties, but not in an ignorant blunt way.They might talk about breasts in a matter of fact way but not in a stupid ignorant sexually frustrated way!

The use of the word "TITTIES" is a very immature ,infantalized VERSION of AN ADULT WOMAN'S ADULT BODY PART called breasts,which SOMEHOW,in the vocabulary of men who  fear ADULT WOMEN,then became TITS,and then ,TITTIES?

Almost as if the "titties" are an independently existing entity or play toy,OUTSIDE of the woman and her personality!.Gosh...ya know!
As if the woman is not a woman at all, she is just a coat hanger for Titties!



So,yeah,this WINGMAN-HERD-mentality ,I think it is a cultural trend there,some unhealthy ANIMAL AGGRESSIVENESS !
Actually,WINGMAN SYNDROME is a trend NOT just in australia but in any chauvinistic culture which commodifies and objectifies women in the name of "family values"!

A healthy STRAIGHTFORWARD confident,Animal aggressivness is just fine with me.
It turns me on too, but it needs to happen in addition to a real intellectual interaction otherwise.
I can't have some ignorant little fucktard with no real brain cells come to me and tell me about my titties and expect me to have PORN-STYLE-ORGASMS!@

Coming back to the wingman syndrome!
The wingmen aussies are sitting in a group of five or six,, and then they don't really care for any intellectual interaction,they just like comparing the tittie sizes of all the women they know.hmmmm.
Sexuality is good,open sexual discussions are good too.But both women and men should able to do it together in a healthy way.
gender segregated sex discussions often OBJECTIFY the oppposite gender and end up stereotyping them as if they,they are not INDIVIDUALS but just sex clones all behaving in the same way!

THE WING MAN SYNDROME
They like to examine women as part of discussion within a  group of   hyperhormoned,hypersexed,sexually frustrated males,whom I endearingly(not!) label WINGMEN!
Wingmen are usually AFRAID to operate alone.They need other ,similarly inadequate,insecure men as support while lashing their tongues .They just want to watch..They don't want to take it any further coz it interferes with their surferboy,freeboy, aussie boy life.
Again,we know a lot of wingmen clubs exist in america too,expecially in the bible thumping chauvinistic circles where jesus was born out of immaculate conception and god created women out of the ribs of men(wtf!) and GOD is supposedly male though ofcourse his mom possibly had to first give birth to him logically and biologically speaking!

The aussie man's UNHEALTHY VIEWS ABOUT STEADY RELATIONSHIPS WITH WOMEN.
This is possibly again very prevelant in britain and other chauvinistic cultures too. and was borrowed by aussie land during the british "empire" period!
gee the british are solely responsibly for SPREADING chauvinistic ideas all over the world during the colonization period.(asshole culture)
Again,coming back to aussie men viewing monogamous marriages  as some kind of necessary punishment.Hmmm,I think it is very unhealthy when men (or women even) start viewing a relationship as a stick in their smooth running wheel but yet has to be partaken of for social and sexual benefits!

Dear men,(or women)You know why you feel you lost your freedom when you get into a monogamous steady relationship?
Coz you are chosing the wrong partners.
You are chosing partners by looking at them from far, to see if their titty size matches your expectations and then,boom you want to marry them. WRONG CHOICES.
Same thing holds good for women,where sometimes  out of a financial desperation can make themselves choose someone who will sponsor them financially during the marriage.             
                                 No wonder you end with incompatible partners , who may have the right titties or right money,but don't have anything else in common in with you.You guys have no common interests besides the sex or money and soon the marriage feels like a BUSINESS AGGREEMENT! obviously such business aggreements are  going to eventually make you feel like , all relationships are going to make you lose your freedom.


***************************************************
More about ozzie man sexuality 

For me personality, SEXUALITY is a very individual thing.You should develop it on your own,, as an individual, not as part of a group of wingmen,,where all of you sit together and discuss what kind of stomachs are supposedly attractive and  what kind shall score 10/10 and what don't.

But Aussie men do that.
They sit together and as a COMMUNITY OF sex starved aussie men decide what is a great body type and what is not. AND ALL OF THEM WILL RELIGIOUSLY USE THAT AS A BENCHMARK TO compare a sheila with .

Dudes, you are all different individuals. you are all supposed to think alone. I notice a HERD MENTALITY.
A woman  has a single vagina coz she can F*&k only one man at a time. So, for a particular moment, only one man gets to do it..Don't combinedly degrade her to imaginary COMMUNITY F&^ng this way by sitting and discussing women's bodies and the possible sex over drinks..please?Coz, it is indicative of sexual frustration.UNHEALTHY.

There is a sanctity and privacy to s*x.It is a very private act..It has got more to emotions than you can ever imagine. It is NOT just about the right BODY PARTS,,it is about how much you appreciate each other mentally that comes out in the type and quality of orgasm that happens.

But of course, the Aussie men are so SEX STARVED, They don't care about mental connections at all.They are like, 'Dude, just give me a regular woman to F*ck and that is enough for me..who needs more..A regular F*&k  on a regular basis is just fine!"

Are all aussie guys are like that?
Unfortunately, i notice a trend.. which is disturbing.. You go to a kylie Minogue concert and then all those 40 year old men with their beers in hand stand there and scream uncontrollably at every oldstyle tittilating move that kylie belts out..with her oldstyle short dresses .I mean. she cooes like a cat and they all scream like they have seen heaven..
I am thinking in my head, "Geez, what primitive needs..NO sophistication.No needs of the mind..they don't seem to be needing any mental or intellectual stimulation at all to achieve the sexual ecstasy they manage to achieve just by watching a scantily dressed woman coo " Is that all it takes Aussie men? coz , that is EASY!
I notice a similar trend in many aussie men, in terms of behavior.
In speech  patterns and such.yes, I know, each country develops an accent and most inhabitants have that accent. But what i mean is the content of conversations ,in phrases and in the styling of thoughtprocess and such!
Ya know!

BACK TO AUSSIE MAN SEXUALITY THEORIES
They are easy.
They have no complicated needs.
They just need a woman who will be there at home at night for a regular easy fuck.
They don't want to try too hard.
She ofcourse must have good titties etc etc..(no compromise on looks or anything , k!)
You give them a good convenient mindless F*&k withou any intellectual interaction, they like it.
If you are a kylie clone, even better-'some blonde hair, some colored eyes, white skin(yeah racism very rampant -undercurrents, though they are politically correct for most part-for appearance sakes)
So, when an aussie man manages to get A MINDLESS FUCK like that, he then is grateful to the woman for the sexual innuendo and what not and forever is  "FAMILY MAN" to his sheila!(sarcasm may please be noted!)

About aussie men being grateful to ANY ole woman:
 ..Just coz she has a large boobs and a vagina.
That is all they need.
They don't need any personality..they just need the woman parts..any woman will do .
Any decent looking one will do..
who cares about the personality? Do women even have personality?
The aussie men are fine as long as this woman is readily available for regular s*x at home each night..ya know.
                            The convenient fuck with the domestic wench, who will also do your housework and take care of your children and possibly work outside too, while you yourself are busy chugging beers with fellow aussie wingmates and going surfing..and being this surfer boy,aussie boy ,free boy idiot!

To me...this attitude is pretty old school--
Where OLD SCHOOL MEN , go outside and seek emotional or intellectual companionship with other fellow men or other women at work or otherwise and come back and be the puppy dog in bed each night with this woman coz she is convenient  and available on beck and call right beside you in your own bed!
She maybe a perfect stranger to you  intellecutally or otherwise coz you are not mentally connected to her ..but LO AND BEHOLD..the Aussie man doesn't care.
All he cares is about having a woman at arm's length for a ready F**k at night , each night...he doesn't care about personality at all..

If you are an American woman..you might find a stark difference between How American men court you and how Aussie men will..

American men are more sophisticated and seek intellectual hooking up as well..
For the aussie man?
hmmmm. READ ABOVE.
------------------.
And BTW
Why is the male:female ratio so bad in Australia?...
There is  really a dearth of females in Aussie land..geez..So much so that men have become sexually frustrated and not picky in whom they want to be with ..as long as she is female,,she will do..Geez!
I think i have said enough..no more ,,no more..JUST HAD TO TYPE OUT MY FRUSTRATION is all

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Next blog entry in this series will be about HOW JAPANESE MEN SUCK..yeah,,they suck in a whole weird creepy way very different from Aussie men.. keep waiting for the next entry in this series..but it will be months down the line. I am still studying my subjects..LOL
JAN 2014 UPDATE:WOW..it has been years since i wrote this blog entry and i haven't yet written the japanese man blog entry..WOW,SO MUCH FOR PROCRASTINATION

Missing Jay leno on the Tonight show

Jay Leno appeared for the last time for the Tonight show in may..June came and Conan took over.
Conan's style is quite different.
Jay Leno is classy in a lot of ways. He won't poke the interviewees for petty gossip news.I like him for that.I like talk shows ,but I have no time for fluff gossip ..I don't want to know who the person being interviewed is sleeping with.Who cares?
There are so many things I like about Jay Leno.
I particularly like his JAY WALK ..where he genuinely gets disappointed each time a civilian doesn't know a vital piece of common-sense info.. And each time he is dismayed., I am here at home getting dismayed as well. We share that common capacity to get disappointed in the public for their lack of knowledge each single time..As if, each time, we raise our hopes saying,"okay, this time, this person might know this and save the face of the country!" But no..America is surely dumbing down..the effects of which will manifest in 10 or 20 years to come..when the children of these dumbies grow up to be the adults running the country.Hmm

I also like the fact that Jay leno actually is very proud of the fact that he has had a long 15 year marriage stint and he is very loyal to his wife. I like it that he is loyal to his wife. I also like it that he is aware that it is a good thing to be loyal to one single person and I like it that he wears the 'married and loyal' tag proudly for everyone to see.
See, again.I am not one of those MORALITY freaks going around preaching everyone to stay in families and never divorce or some such... not one of those church people who forces people to stay together even after the couple has emotionally fallen apart.
But , yet ,,when people stay with someone they fell in love in..that means they had enough self awareness to know who will work for them and it  also means that it happened from the other person's side too.It takes two to tango. That is what a successful relationship means.
So many people get into relationships with people they don't really care that much for , all because they are afraid to stay alone or die lonely etc etc. Once you get into something for such silly reasons.. falling apart will happen.
So that is what I was getting it.
I am happy for him .. he is a wise man. Sensitive one too.
I also like it that he really respects the work his wife does.
I once remember him talking about the state of women in Afghanistan..those women..they are covered from head to toe..why? because the men are not being taught to be civil to not molest a woman once she shows her hair? what kind of a religion is it that imposes suffocation on one gender instead of attempting to teach manners to the other gender?Everyone has hair and eyes. no need to get all excited and foaming in the mouth and molest the woman coz she has hair and eyes.dude!
So, when this issue was being discussed, his eyes, they showed genuine concern. A genuine undestanding shone in his eyes which believed that all people are born equal..with equal rights..
I like Jay Leno more than Conan(though , conan is not really bad..only a bit too juvenile or gimmicky sometimes,he is getting better though)
So, yeah, Leno, is my fav.. He will always be..
He now has a prime time show which i am not in a position to watch. I don't know maybe one of these days..I will become a prime time person and it will be Jay leno time again!

Oprah's talk show is going to close soon

No matter which country you move to

'The broken guitar' Dream journal and My new guitar!

I know..I saw this dream 10 days ago.
The thing is..I bought a new guitar..yeah, a guitar of all things.. I play the flute..harmonica too.So,essentially I am a WIND INSTRUMENT person..

But ..in 2007 when i tried making a video of me singing, I realized that I couldn't simultaneously play the flute while i was still singing. That is when i realized that a string instrument is a far better accompaniment in lieu of background music  to vocals(my own).

Back then,I made a mental note to myself, that it would be a great idea to learn an instrument that doesn't require mouth blowing.What instrument and when, I had no idea.
I never really thought of guitar at all.I think a violin is far more versatile instrument than a guitar..both in terms of sound quality and ability to reach complicated arrangements.But hey,,an electric guitar might  be able to accomplish that what an acoustic guitar may not.I am a guitar novice anyways, so i would like to reserve further opinions  till  a  future point of time wherein  i am better equipped to judge the versatility etc.

I have a friend.Goh.I like his lyrics, and his music and sometimes i feel that he is not getting the kind of recognition that  he deserves, because, his music is highly original and very unique and very special.His lyrics are very smart too...Like I always tell him,His music is GRAMMY WORTHY.
Sometimes when i see other musicians not as talented as him who get a easier break ,I get angry.Come on..

Anyways, this blog entry is about my dream.let us go back to my dream and my guitar.

A quick prelude to the dream .I write these preludes to all my dream journal only  in an attempt to make everyone understand that dreams  are more about information processing that happens in our brain during sleep and  therefore really has no significance otherwise in predicting the future.

Dreams  are more about rearrangments of actual thoughts or fears in our sleep.Thoughts that  we have already previously thought during our waking hours.

PRELUDE to guitar dream
I ordered for  a guitar to made to my own specifications with a local guitar maker.I did that  because i wanted to go straight to source and actually pay the guitar maker the profit  money that would otherwise go into the hands of the guitar store owner.I didn't save any money by buying a guitar from the maker.saving money was not the real motive .I just wanted to make sure the guitar maker gets all the profit.My own lil way to help a guitar maker-an artisan.

ABOUT MY GUITAR
I love it..I have named it 'Black beauty'.I specifically chose a black color..It is a beauty..Sometimes i see it standing on the futon as i pass by in a hurry getting ready to go out  and I stop short  in my steps and look at it and muse to myself, "Damn, I now own a guitar.I have a guitar!Never thought this day would come" Then, i go off into a tangent of thought process , all in practicality " It is so beautiful..How beautiful.It has been in the open far too long.I have to keep it dust free..where is the case" :)

MOVING SOON
                   I am moving soon... Again,,plane cargo is not cheap..I cannot afford to lug around all kindsa stuff..I will leave behind a lot of stuff at my parents' home..I use their home as my safe haven for all the things that have immense sentimental value for me.Those that i cannot dispense off ,those that are too big or too heavy for me to lug around wherever i will travel.(which  btw happens almost like once a year or once a 7 months.Too much of traveling that the pleasure associated with traveling has long gone..LOL)
                 So,yeah,I have been worrying about the fact that i probably might have to leave the guitar behind at my parents.I haven't had enough time to learn it either..that makes it even more sadder for me to leave it behind before we got properly acquainted with each other..You know,,those intimate getting used to between musical instrument and instrument player.

TRAVEL WORRIES
                         I was imagining all kindsa scenarios in my head.Over an 18 hr international flight and during transfers I will have this guitar hanging on my back as carry in and everybody would sneer at me or I will have to put it in baggage and then it will break( I was suddenly reminded of the same predicament that my musician friend Goh went through weeks ago..All guitar owners face the same travel problems..don't we?)

THE 'BROKEN GUITAR 'DREAM
see , the funny part is,, though, i call this dream 'broken guitar " dream..In this dream,it doesn't get accidentally broken or some such.I actually proceed to neatly cut the neck halfway just so that the guitar can be the right size to fit into the baggage that meets baggage size specifications with my airlines..I neatly cut the stem and then fit the pieces into the box and tell to myself in the dream, "Aah..I am so smart..now it fits neatly in the box..now it won't break due to bad baggage handling"
Then, in the dream,once the travel is done, I claim my baggage and then I reach home and I open my box.I take the guitar out.The end piece that i had previously  neatly cut off is still hanging off from the main guitar by the strings and I am thinking to myself, "Okay, now, how am i going to fix this?Oh boy! Looks like this guitar is done for.Finished..How on earth did i think of cutting off the neck like that? And Am I still expecting it to work after that?What is this?"  Then in the dream(if you could see it like I did )  you can see the horror of realization on my face at how stupid I was to neatly saw off the neck of the guitar like that , all because I wanted to fit it into a suitcase.Seriously! Funny and sad at the same time
END OF DREAM

When i woke from my dream,I actually was so distressed .For a moment I thought that  did really cut up my guitar.I actually had to go check if the guitar was intact. And there was a moment of relief..Weird and freaky.
I guess the dream was only a re-processing of my earlier thoughts and concerns about how to transport my guitar while I make it through the  air travel!  SILLY ME. I so badly want to take my guitar along but i think i have far more important things to take along..the guitar might have to be left behind..NOOOOOO!

Watched a documentary about the japanese mafia!

I have been watching a lot of Australian television these days.(Sick and tired of American Television)


I seem to have taken a liking to Australia network,Especially the documentary series . American television is no good anymore.Most American television has become shallow,senseless,full of worthless reality shows of the downright scummy order.


Australian television on the other hand is balanced with the right mix of art related programs,politics,science,documentaries etc etc..
Also,much to my relief, there are no repetitive pharmaceutical commercials on Australian television.

I am tired of the constant commercials on American television that end with, "Talk to your physician about yada yada yada drug" and me being in the cadre of the "physicians" that drug companies want all the viewers to talk to .. hmmmm.big sigh..
I know what those drugs can do to a human body.I know how the ads cleverly misrepresent information ..oh boy! Poor lil viewers actually believe those good-for-nothing commercials and come pestering me - They are not really aware of all the actual facts about each drug and yet they think that some drug company advertisement is to be taken at face value.I digress!

Anyways, coming back to Australian television.
I particularly like this program called FOREIGN CORRESPONDENT.Primarily because it is courageous journalism bringing to you stories from all over the world..
Very recently,prolly last week, I watched this documentary on the Japanese mafia..yakuza

Clearly, this documentary left me disturbed for a long bit after i finished watching it.
It is a grim scenario.Sigh!
In fact,Each time that i watch a documentary about any kind of mafia or drug trafficking or human trafficking scenario in any country, I get depressed.
These mafia stories are not a joke.. it is a dangerous game.. a dangerous life..much afar from the safe childhood and safe and clean adult life i am leading..IT SCARES ME to watch the ugly-confused-whirlpool lives of those involved in sex,drugs and mafia.
Funnily(NOT-so-funnily,actually)..all three co-exist most of the time..They tend to be seen together..It is the 'mess' part of it all that disturbs me the most.


It is like quicksand and once people get into this mess they can't get out and sadly, when get initiated into this lifestyle , they are far too young to know any better..Most of them are in their teens..early teens even..

It suddenly reminded me of the poor boys that are being pumped from all over the world into the Taliban..What these boy-men are fighting for?They themselves don't know..All they know is that they will now get some food to eat..Most poverty stricken dirt poor african moslem kids are prone/target to this kind of Taliban human trafficking mafia business..pch.. scares me once again

Anyways, coming back to the JAPANESE MAFIA documentary

As is usual with me,I managed to catch this documentary only at the fag end of it.. much like most all the other programs that i accidentally come across while i am surfing channels in the middle of cooking or doing other chores in the meager hours apart from work that I get to spend at home.

There was one particular section of the documentary that disturbed me the most.It is this part where this daughter(shoko tendo?) of this mafia man ...now probably in her 20s or 30s (I just found out, she is in her 40s-from the program transcript) describes her messy life.

She starts the story with when her father was a henchman mafia boss and how someone cut their finger and gave it to him or some such..Again, i was only running around the living room while this part was running on TV.So didn't quiet manage to read the subtitles and she was speaking only in japanese and not in english.
It was only when i read the word CUT FINGER that i got alarmed and gave it my full attention.I gave up what i was doing in the kitchen and actually sat down to watch it further(whatever was left of the running time anyways)
She also then proceeds to shows her naked body to the camera.It is covered fully by tattoos as is tradition in the japanese mafia clan.Each clan has their own type of full body tattooing.Very artistic and thus Ironic and strangely again, It is scary..


What is most disenchanting is the POKER FACE with which she describes the whole thing,
her whole life,
as if she is dead on the inside,
as if nothing matters anymore,
as if cut fingers are nothing but just cut fingers,
as if it is the life of someone else she is describing,

She is so emotionally cut off, disconnected, when she describes this, that it disturbs me to the core.I just want to go and hug her and make her human again. Like become human so easily after years and years of abuse.Everybody bears the burden of their birth circumstances and childhood environment.

She then talks about how by the time she reaches her early teens she is already the girlfriend of another mafia guy and how he would first inject her with drugs or force her to take them and then how they would have sex all day and then how he would beat her up very brutally and just as she talks about being brutally beaten up, I am trying to look closely at her eyes to see a hint of a tear.No tear..the tears dried up long ago i guess..I am alarmed

I am suddenly reminded of Godfather-The movie..The italian mafia are a grim reality..a big grim reality.

I often wonder if the mafia arises from utter poverty..Utter poverty ,where 'life' doesn't matter anymore..Where a poor person's life is dispensable..it becomes dispensable..The poor person has nothing to lose anyways when his life is spent in squalor.. hmmmm

To read more about his documentary or watch video clips of it>go here

http://www.abc.net.au/foreign/content/2009/s2719326.htm

MARK WILLACY is the brave foreign correspondent who shows us this story..I think all trash journalists who sensationalize worthless news needs to learn and get inspired from such REAL JOURNALISTS..Mark willacy,in this time and day still understands the concept of what the job description of a real journalists constitutes of and adheres to doing what he is supposed to do as journalists.


If you want to watch video clips you can go here

http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200910/r456657_2234003.flv


Since I only caught the fag end of the documentary, I went and read the transcript of this documentary on the australian television website and realize that i missed most of it..I hope they re-telecast this documentary. I would so like to see the whole of it and then get scared some more

This documentary is a MUST WATCH in my opinion.

By the way,even if they want to rehabilitate the 80,000 odd mafia gang members,how would they go about it?
For one, all of them would be so messed up in their heads that no amount of psychotherapy would work for them.

The Down's syndrome child at the Supermarket

If you are a regular follower of My twitter stream You will remember that i tweeted about having bought a New oven.We all go to that mega sale super-applicance store to buy new electric appliances especially if we are smart enough not to want to pay more for the same product.I did too!
I went to one of these Sears/Costco kind of places where I was sure that I would land the lowest possible price for the oven I had in mind.The lowest price i did land.yes.
This being festive season and all,There was quite a crowd there. While I stood in a long long long long long line to check out my Chef's knife ,I was looking around to see if any other line would get shorter than mine so i could switch lanes.LOL.Somehow,the very line i stand in seems longer than the rest(Is that one of Murphy's laws too ?)
So,I stood there in line and I saw a young couple moving out through the large exit doors.The mother had a small child that she was carrying and only the child's face was facing in my direction while the parents had their backs to me .The child-The child clearly had DOWN'S SYNDROME. You can take a Doctor out of the hospital but she will still remain a doctor.We as doctors are trained to make spot diagnosis .We do it like second nature after sometime of training. So, even while I stand in a check out line in a supermarket, I will still instinctively make spot diagnoses .
So, there I was , A tired Female doctor,Standing in the check out line of a supermarket,and diagnosing a Down's syndrome from Afar.Geez!
So, as soon as I saw that the Kid had Down's syndrome, I quickly tried to look if the parents are perhaps related in some way or if they were too old.The parents looked young(coming to think of it>What if the the guy beside the woman carrying the child was the brother of the woman ?what if the woman was not the motherat all?Just some aunt taking out the kid to shop just so that the real mother gets relief from child care for a bit?Well!Well!) The parents also didn't quite look like they were related.But see,Not all first degree or second degree cousins physically look like they are twins or are related.So,Possibly,They were infact related biologically in some way.
You see, Genetic disorders occur (many of them) because of inbreeding, where similar genes have a greater chance to come together in an offspring(especially genes associated with some disorders which need two genes to become physically manifest).And the only possibility such two genes will get a chance to occur together is when you mate someone with a similar genetic set like your's >especially cousins, brother-sister pair etc..Which is why marrying within your family is a taboo all over the world.Incest is definitely frowned upon!
However there are certain communities where marrying your cousins is found to be socially okay/acceptable and sometimes even customary and it is in such communities that such genetic recessive disorders first become manifest or are more prevalent.
So,anyways, coming back to this Down's syndrome kid-You can easily identify such children from afar.They have special mongoloid features.That is, even if the child is caucasian or black it still will end up with oriental like features.I say 'Oriental LIKE' instead of 'ORIENTAL', because, the eye slant in Down's syndrome is actually NOT like the usual normal eye slant seen in Healthy asian populations.It is in the opposite direction.So, therefore, a chinese child with Down's syndrome will look different from a normal healthy chinese child.I just needed to clarify this!
Down's syndrome usually occurs due to a problem during cell divisions during early pregnancy and such problems usually are more common in zygotes that happen due to mating between elderly parents-especially an old mother. Any women over 30 substantially increases her risk to give birth to a down's syndrome.Having said this, there are two other genetic mechanisms by which Down's syndrome can occur.But,but,This is not a medical blog.This is a ramble blog,So, let's cool it!
So,why am I yapping about having seen a Down's syndrome child at a supermarket? Why?Well, I am shit scared that I will one day give birth to one(touchwood!).I recently hit 30..I look physically like a 19 year old(thanks to great genes and also my vegan diet) but let us not fool ourselves-My body still has worked for 30 years, my heart has been incessantly working for 30 years already-So , no matter how young I look on the outside, I am still on the inside have hit 30.
I am not one of these people who feels sad that i hit 30.Infact, i think hitting 30 is great..now i get to be this person who can mentor teenagers without them raising an eyebrow(meaning, You are too young, so stop advising me).
When I say I am shit scared that I will one day give birth to a Down's syndrome child,I mean,I am not scared in a selfish way , where taking care of a child with special needs is a big burden and therefore I don't want to.It is about having to go through the physical pain of being the parent of a child that has few years to live and will have medical problems and you can do nothing about it and you have to witness the pain they go through.You are constantly worried that just incase you accidentally die before them, who will take care of them?
You might think that i probably recently developed this fear of down's syndrome given that i recently hit 30 and I haven't had a child so far..But the funny part is, I actually have been instinctively fearing this since the age of 20 when i first came across a down's syndrome case while in med school.It is funny how a 20 year who was planning on getting married by 27 and having kids prior to 30 would somehow back then have an instinct that one day she might end up giving birth to such a child and start fearing it.10 years down the line and a lot of breaking up with boyfriends, I end up not having had a child by 30.It was a wise decision .NM that.
I mean,These children are happy children with a keen appreciation for music.They lack much IQ though and suffer from many cardiac anomalies and live only to the grand old age of 25 and have the IQ of a 6 yr old.Its sad.
The first time, came across such a child during my Pediatric clinics while I was in Med school.Hmmmmmmm...That child.. that child..Would smile at everyone and dance to music .That child,Left an indelible mark on my silly lil med school student mind..Morbid fear...because it is tough as a parent to worry about your child like that.
So, I was 20 back then.I am 30 right now..standing at a supermarket check out line....I see yet another Down syndrome child on the shoulder of another mom--The mom looks barely 22..she is not over 30 and the parents don't look related(But, like I said, they may even not be the actual biological parents)... So,, not all Down's syndrome are born to women over 30...I stand there convincing myself
"I am 30, but come on.. IVF has come a long way. and yes,,we have villus sampling now..it detects Down's syndrome...so, I am safe"
hmmmmm..

When I attempt to make a Differential Diagnosis during a panic attack

A couple of weeks ago I had a panic attack.It was this vague abdominal pain that won't go away.And being the doctor that I am I just had to make a diagnosis -A bunch of differential diagnosis all without any lab tests or other aids..
So,,all the racing differential diagnoses in my head finally gave me a panic attack..then i went to twitter and made a record of my thoughts..Just so that i can blog about them later..

Here goes

Had a severe panic attack compounded by abd pain,nausea.I have been sick this week.makin dramatic differential diagnoses doesn't help either3:32 PM Sep 14th from web

see.It is could be a ruptured ovarian cyst with Intraperitoneal infection leading to sepsis.could be a strangulated hernia.vaginal prolapse?3:34 PM Sep 14th from web

No wait, maybe i have had anemic hypertrophy of the heart due to constant blood loss due to hemarroids,or maybe my complication of swine flu3:36 PM Sep 14th from web
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could it be sinusitis leading to sepsis causing the nausea?oh wait,Myab3:37 PM Sep 14th from web
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maybe i have had undiagnosed Hypertension all this while which explains the headache..or wait, is the headache due to sinusitis?3:38 PM Sep 14th from web
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Am i just a hypochondriac? or maybe psychosomatic disorder? gosh! knowing too much is sometimes a problem when you get sick.doctors=bad pts!3:39 PM Sep 14th from web
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You know what my worst fear is .what if the ovarian cysts have already undergone that rare cancerous transformation and have metastasized !3:43 PM Sep 14th from web
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what if the metastasis to different areas of the abdomen is what is causing abdominal pain which random and what if the nausea is cachexia?3:44 PM Sep 14th from web
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want to see what a doctor tweets when she has a panic attack? read my previous 12 tweets.Maybe i must make them into a blog entry!3:47 PM Sep 14th from web
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yeah.maybe metastatic secondaries all over giving me pain ..that is one thing i hope it NOT true.could be intususeption/volvulus/strangulatn4:04 PM Sep 14th from web
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see the headache could be plain frontal sinusitis/inf associated with it/migraine/temporal arteritis/Hypertension associated ..soooooo4:05 PM Sep 14th from web
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yeah.I also thought about if it is a progesterone producing ovarian cyst causing me rt lower quadrant pain with nausea4:06 PM Sep 14th from web
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absolutely not getting any..so yeah, the chance of pregancy or ectopics is thankfully ruled out unless there is one of those evil twin thing4:07 PM Sep 14th from web
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very very loud grumbling and bowel movement-some kind of obstruction?strangulation ?intususseption?volvulus?ovarian cyst pressing on bowel?4:08 PM Sep 14th from web
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Seriously, being a doctor and being sick ..sucks..coz this whole thing sucks...the abd pain sucks,headache sucks,panic attack sucks most!4:09 PM Sep 14th from web
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I am so sane and accurate when it comes to diagnosing my patients.Only when i do have to diagnose myself I go totally overboard!totally!4:26 AM Sep 15th from web
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Now,see ,when i now read these tweets as i Import them from my Twitter stream.I find them Hilarious and outrageous...A progeterone producing cyst?What the hell? And suddenly it dawned on me that THIS IS HOW PATIENTS FEEL..They are stressed, they are scared and they are probably angry .I realized that when patients come to me with breast masses and other pains, they are very distressed and the fear is irrational but they can't help it ..
this panic attack help me understand their pain on a first hand basis and probably more receptive to their seeking my help..Hmmmm...

I know ,I know.I firstly apologize for abandoning my blog and going over to become a Twitter-Ho!(yes,I used the H word,for the kicks!)
The advantage of twitter is the smaller blogs-'MicroBlogging' if you may!No,actually,I think I am genetically inclined to write long long long compositions and then not even having the decency to spell check them and type them at the rate of 75 words per minute which causes the letters to exchange positions -more like Typing Dyslexia -LOL and posting them on my blog without prooofreading them-All because of I love long conversations and if there is no one around-Monologues--aka--Long blog entries.
Therefore,Twitter,with its 140 character limit forces me to become precise .It saves me time and it gives rest to my fingers and yet,It manages to allow me to keep putting my opinions out thereOne disadvantage with twitter though is that, when you just type out 140 characters,YOu may not be able to explain the whole scene,The whole history behind the tweet or the context and thus you put yourself at risk of being misunderstood.
FYi:this tiny blog entry is a crosspost onto my other blog The not so daily ramble blog from my Ecology and Health blog, and If you already subscribe to both please don't curse me for multiple posting.

The snake dream-yeah,Its Dream journal time again!

I have been seeing some rather freaky dreams these past few days.
Just a couple of days ago, I had this dream where i run from High school to High school trying to enroll and no one will take me and then I kinda manage to enroll, only to find out that the Teen Leonardo Di caprio is my classmate."What is so FREAKY?" ,you might ask!

See, the thing is ......
You know the 'BASKETBALL DIARIES' movie ? and the teen Leo in that movie.Yeah, yeah, the one that develops a drug addiction problem eventually in the movie ! Yeah, THAT Leo was my classmate in the dream.Not the 'Titanic' movie Leo.Just had to clarify!
So,yeah, coming to the SNAKE DREAM.
Yeah,I saw snakes in my dream..Rather, a single snake, that kept wriggling/writhing back and forth.
Btw,I saw a Leo movie before going to sleep on the night that i saw the Leo dream.
Also, I saw a David Attenborough's documentary on snakes just prior to going to sleep on the night that i saw the snake dream. Also i have been listening to this song called a DREAM MACHINE over and over these past few weeks.There is a line in that song which goes, "Rattlesnakes charmed on the dance floor, dance floor, dance floor" and then i have taken to envisioning actual rattlesnakes lying charmed on the dance floor each time i listen that line in that song.

DREAM INTERPRETATION is quite easy,you know!Things that You see in your dreams are actually things you have been mulling on quite recently prior to dreaming-Be it TV or be it daily routine things .There is no mystic interpretation required..It is plain and simple.Dreams are just our minds' way of organizing thoughts and storing memory. It goes through all recent memory and then sorts out stuff and stores some and discards others.Much like the temporary folders in our computer.
So yeah, coming back to ....

SNAKE DREAM
So,In this dream,I am lying on this cot which is laid out on a cemented yard which looks on to mountains and meadows.Very picturesque!I am lying down with face down intently focussed on the floor because there is a snake on the floor , wriggling around and going round and round on the cement floor. no really..It just kept moving swiftly over and over in a large wide circles.And we people are intently watching it do so, all the while making verbal commentary on how swift it is..
All of a sudden, I turn around and look at the other people and start discussing how me must build a gutter with a netted mesh cover for the snake all around the cemented patio,just so that the snake can happily keep sliding around while at the same time the people don't get scared and they don't accidentally come in contact with the snake..

I finish explaining the architectural details of this cement gutter and turn back to the floor to continue watching the snake writhing on the floor, but ,the snake is gone.I am like, "hey, where did the snake go ? It was here on the floor all this while!" and i suddenly realize that the snake has climbed onto the cot that i am presently lying on..
I get quite shocked because the snake is so close to me now and just as i speak,This snake kinda pounces on me and kinda lays a gentle smooch(I prefer to call it a smooch instead of a bite) on each of my eyes and I am starting to shout out--" It didn't bit me..it just touched my eyes ever so softly" and
BOOM ..I wake up from my sleep..that was freaky.. coz immediately after i woke up.. i started to look for a snake under my cot--Boy!!!!

the round up blog

I am not gonna sit here to think up a blog entry body and the grammar and punctuation and what..I am just making this entry coz it is has been so so long since i last made a decent entry and during this time there have been many occasions where i had so many things to blog about and yet i kept postponing it to a later point and to a point wherein the relevance of the blog just disappeared.
what has happened during this time?
Jay leno's show ended..Now conan runs the Tonight show
swine flu came and kinda became a pandemic and well, the deaths in mexico,,unpardonable in terms of how preventable they were, but more than anything the widespread panic due to swine flue was uncalled for , coz there is a known treatment and also a vaccination is not far off either.
Anyways, michael jackson died..Just like that..one fine day..he just died..The children are now orphans technically unless all those claims about who the real biological parents are all true..But the parent that the kids knew as their parent is now gone..
Michael jackson's memorial was like one variety show--showcase various personalities with their own take on death and repurcussions thereof
I have to go write a review of this memorial on my poetry and poise blog..
I also was meaning to write a review of the closing week of Jay leno..coz leno meant a lot to me
Iran meanwhile had a election.. most people feel that the poll results reelecting Ahmedinejad was a farce and a fake.. A lot of protests ensued..people arrested or disappeared.. this is not how a democracy works..whatever
meanwhile North korea goes around trying to create trouble by unnecessarily threatening USA about how they would wipe them off the map..Provocative behavior is unwelcome..
All we want in this world is self regulation and peace..Thank you very much..Mosey along now..
I have been twittering like crazy during all these days of my absence from blogger.. hmmmm
what else? Made some good friends on twitter..Nice
will blog about all my twitter friends one of these days..friends come and friends go but while they last I might as well make a record of my first friendships on twitter.
Yahoo 360 finally closed down after being beta for the longest time..
Their blogging platform was very good, In my humble opinion..they just didnt know how to make good use of their own wonderful blogging platform product
that's it for now
Btw..I have started growing my hair..it is more of a reddish brown pretty curly mop..Not long long but longer than my usual shorty short..the newly long hair bothers me sometimes.. but hey..now i have decided to grow it..lemme do it this one time..
chao

Michael jackson died 3 days ago

First off, he dies at the age of 50, in this day and age of modern medicine, good cardiac drugs, great interventions available to prolong life and what not. There was no dearth of money.Though there was some news of bankruptcy I am sure he had enough to pay for good medications.
Second off, his children are only 12,11 and seven.The children whom he shielded from the media glare and public.They are orphaned now.Just doesn't feel right.I am sure the relatives will go in for a custody battle for the money they might get for being a guardian.I hope Michael wrote a sensible will , so that the children don't become the golden geese .
Thirdly , he got acquitted of the child molestation charges only recently and he was planning a come back tour-which got sold out already. I was hoping this was going to be his redemption.That redemption never happened.
About child molestation charges , All i know is, he got acquitted.I have no access to the trial transcripts, so i cannot comment on this issue except that he was acquitted by a court of law .
Most news about famous entertainers are always laced with many lies, out of sheer jealousy and out of sheer desperation on part of the gossip magazine hounds who have no source of income unless they take pictures of entertainers .The gossip magazines are able to sell because there is no dearth of common people who want to gossip about an entertainer and sometimes derive cheap pleasure when something bad or weird is happening to someone famous and rich.You stop buying trash magazines and these trash magazines will be out of business.But , oh no, you are so nosy and are seeking such an escape from the mess that is your own life, you seek gossip news .You like outrageous news and sometimes these gossip magazines spin that gossip for you , at the cost of distress to another human being.
If someone sings well, you pay them to sing for you.end of issue.If you feel they are getting too rich disproportionate to their talent, stop buying their music.end of matter. no need to encourage gossip magazines to hound them and make their life a living hell with no privacy and then derive some sick pleasure by knowing that though they have money they have no peace. People, you are the ones paying for them.If you don't want them to be rich, don't pay so much for their music.Stop buying their music.end of matter.
Anyways, that whole lecture was because, i think, the media and the media stories were responsible for Michael's death in a way. He has been performing since very young , first as the star of the jackson five and then solo. He has been in the media glare all these years. The gossip, the rumors take a toll on a person. They start drinking and taking drugs to escape the drama. and one day , at the age of 50 they die too soon.
Michael Jackson's music and musical style and voice and message through music were all about equality, human rights, love and childhood and good things.Those ideas and thoughts were all his own.His music managed to reach third world countries.His records spanned over decades.I grew up with his songs.
His pelvic thrust and genitalia grabbing may not be my favorite moves in dance, but his moon walk sure is one of my favorite moves.
My favorite song of his is, 'THEY DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT US' and the video to that is My favorite music video ever. the brazilian drums, the crowd, michael dancing in all abandon amongst the crowd. I love that video..have you seen him dancing ? Now, that is natural talent. he dances from his soul.he also sang from his soul.. It was all real. That sincerity was what was able to touch people across countries.
Have you seen this other music video for his song CHILDHOOD? well, my favorite line form that song is
BEFORE YOU JUDGE ME, TRY HARD TO LOVE ME.
Each time i hear that line, I break into a sob these past few days.Michael is gone.Death is such a final decider , isn't it?
One other song that i like very much is, BLACK OR WHITE. The music video just like always, amazing. One face morphing into another face all through the song, black morphs into a white face, then into brown, then into yellow. Beautiful
One other favorite song of his which is my favorite is , MAN IN THE MIRROR. It is a very long song, but when you pay attention to the lyrics, you can understand why that song is my favorite. The essense of the song is, CHANGE STARTS AT HOME, IT STARTS WITH THE PERSON YOU SEE IN THE MIRROR.
I have no idea what the issue has been with his father, but making a very young child, perform night after night like it is the kid's job is atrocious, in my opinion. well, Michael never had a childhood . I hear that there was talk of how Michael's father abused him and yet, It makes me want to puke to hear his father talk to reporters outside of his home today, when the reporter asks him," I hear that you have been particularly close to michael these past few years" and the father says, " He is my son, I fed him, Ofcourse I am close him "
I am thinking in my head, "there is absolutely no necessity that every person that feeds another person automatically gets close to that person. A person is not a dog , ya know.Not that i am trying to demean a dog here by saying that all that dogs need is to be fed "
Anyways, what happened between him and his father , only both of them know. So, I am not going to speculate on this issue where Michael was possibly abused by his father.
Spookily, Michael's untimely death is being compared to Elvis's death which was also too early and also suspected to be a drug related heart attack.
Speaking of which, the indignity of an autopsy.
I am a physician and I know what happens during an autopsy.It is sad to die and then be subjected to an autopsy just coz you are so famous that it becomes mandatory to rule out foul play.
Also speaking of which, I heard the 911 call that was made to call for help being played over and over on TV , over and over again. Gosh, ridiculous.Me as a physician, with all due respect to GOOD paramedics have to still say that I am very skeptical about the medical skills of paramedics.Most of them do more harm than good during the few minutes from home to hospital. They just know some basics and do those procedures very blindly without taking into consideration many other possibilities that a doctor could possibly think of during that time of crisis.Yet, they somehow think they are good enough to manage an emergency on their own .Anyways, that is a whole other blog entry for my Ecology and Health blog.I digress.Yes, blame is a big part of dealing with death of near and dear.So, prolly, I am trying to blame the paramedics as a way to deal with Michael's death.Maybe the paramedics did their job.Speaking of which, Michael's relatives want a second autopsy.Dude , none of you relatives were close enough to have been near him during his death.Now, everyone is crowding around him like they care.Again, I am an outsider, so i must not comment.Who knows what happens inside families.
BTW, I also think it is very insensitive to play the autopsy report on TV.Seriously, why talk about his balding head, knee surgeries and what not.Why? The man is dead. leave him alone.This is cheapness to try and explore his body to see what surgeries he got done. I mean, what the fock! People are like vultures, aren't they?
Also, looks like a lot of people are discussing on various forums, about his skin which turned into super white over the years, how his nose got very very short and well his child molestation accusations.
If any of you remember ,well, there was a fire accident many many years ago,while he was performing on stage and he had to receive a skin transplant .After that is what started the white skin. Did they transplant a white person's skin onto him? I have no idea , coz, from what i can see, his whole body is white.A whole body skin transplant? His nose, sure, he got surgery done, but didn't that happen after the burn incident too? I have seen patients lose noses during burn accidents. So ,sure, nose could have been lost in that fire accident.I don't have the exact chronology of incidents, coz ya know, i was busy doing important things back then.
Medically, vitiligo doesn't classically appear that way his skin is/was these days. So, well, not vitiligo or is it? Medicine is vast, clinical variations are vast, can't comment at all.
About child molestations, there was this cancer patient kid, who was talking about how people are willing to treat an animal of another species aka a dog as their own family and yet are not able to treat a person of another race equally. A profound sentence indeed.And given Michael's song content in BLACK OR WHITE, I am sure , the young boy's words impressed him very much. No harm in inviting the children over to his home..
My only question is, what the fock were the parents doing? were they so starstruck that they forgot all chaperoning rules and left their young children to have a sleep over with an adult stranger? what the fockers? I want the parents to be tried in a court of law for utter negligence too.. and yet these parents shamelessly file a case and then get silent after getting some money. I mean, if really you cared only about your child, why go silent, why not fight it till the end? It was not about the child at all, was it now?Yet again, what happened between michael and those children, only they know. I am just a third party. I have no idea.
So yeah, I love Elvis's music. The best voice ever. The most beautiful face I have ever seen.He died before i was born, yet, Elvis's music is top on my playlist always. He died early.Had he lived, he prolly would have been 70 something, but come on, it would have been fun for me to go visit him in person. But no, he died. He left behind a child. The spooky part is, his only child was in a relationship with Michael jackson for a bit.They call it a fake relationship and well, gossip magazines will say anything,so , take it with a pinch of salt. hmmmm.. some karmic connection there. I don't believe in the concept of karma though. Anyways, Michael, the best musical talent ever. The content of his work, top quality. He died .. He just died too early. None of us were mentally prepared to deal with the sudden death.We were so ready to deal with him getting bankrupt and obscure and old, but not dead.
It is irritating to see the whole bunch of idiot entertainers come out and go ga ga over him now..I mean a few months ago, Vh1 was afraid to play his songs on their channel anymore, now they are blaring his music and paying homage. and all entertainers who wanted to play it safe and would say 'no comment' these past few years, suddenly come out and babble like frogs.After all , the man is dead, we can all safely babble now, that is what they think perhaps.
Only few entertainers had the courage to say they liked his music even when he was alive and caught up in all that controversy and only those people have the right to open their mouth and pay homage now.The rest of you, please shut up and move on.

The lady and Dr.House dream journal.This is weird and funny!

Okay,it has been a few hours since i woke up, and needless to say, the intricate details of this semi nightmare (note that it is not a nightmare at all, but the details are kinda weird) are all lost on me. I vaguely remember a few details but am mostly standing the danger to forget it all unless i make a note.Hence, this blog entry. 

               So, the dream starts with a lady (not me), wearing a doctor's white coat, entering this dimly lit room-A large one actually-with furniture like that of a large private lounge with a little elevated deck at the entrance followed by a little depressed island and such. So, yeah, This lady while still wearing the white coat and stethoscope around her neck walks in with what seems like a large pizza platter(the one that goes into a large pizza oven) and on it is a large pizza too. And she hurries in and almost forcibly, lays that large pizza plate on to the table right beside the entrance.NOTE THAT I AM JUST AN ONLOOKER IN THIS DREAM-I SEEM TO BE STANDING IN SOME DINGY CORNER OF THE ALREADY ILL-LIT ROOM AND JUST WATCHING THESE PROCEEDINGS. 

          Now, there are two other people standing in the central depressed island of this room and as this lady enters and throws that pizza plate on the table adjacent to her, she yells ," Here you go , Dr.House, Your pizza!" and suddenly , I see myself turning to my left and realizing that there is this figure sitting on a chair to my left and who else but Dr.House! Yeah, the actor who plays the doctor in Dr.House ! And now , he is silently smirking at the pizza. And the other two males standing in that room suddenly start protesting at how regressive it is for her to make pizza for Dr.House  and how she is reinforcing unfair gender expectations by actually making him a pizza while she herself is an equally accomplished doctor, a surgeon at that...LOL..

    All three of them just break into an argument while, surprisingly, Dr.House is just silent. They are practically bickering in fully detailed dialogues and all.THE DETAILS OF WHICH i HAVE FORGOTTEN , NOW!

          Amidst that argument, the lady kinda takes off her white coat and says something like, "see, I know I am a surgeon, I know I am not supposed to cook him food at the hospital at work and I know , he is supposed to know how to fend for himself, I know it is regressive to cook meals for someone else coz they are incapable of cooking, I know I should let him starve, But hey, He is paying me for making his meals and In addition to getting paid for being a surgeon here, why not make some extra money by making meals for Dr.House?After all, it is not like I am making it for free. " and then she proceeds to tell something to Dr. House, " Dr.house, all your other meals are in the fridge if you want them" upon which , the other two and me , suddenly let out a shocked disapproving "Awwww, that is no good" All three of us are shocked that an accomplished lady surgeon is cooking meals for colleagues as a side business at work. LOL.

     NOW, NOW,these are the kind of dreams I am seeing these days. LOL. Maybe i must start cooking meals for ppl at work, maybe that is what this dream is all about. LOL

The 'Meet the Parents-break my bubble' nightmare-Dream journal!

So, yeah, 3 hrs ago, i tweeted about the nasty quality of Nightmares I have been having lately.

The really bad part is , I have this fitful sleep because of the pathetic nighmare i am having and then i get up, there is this residual sick feeling in my head,  but then i forget the details of the dream altogether. 

" why is remembering the details of the dream /nightmare so important?", You might ask 

Well, for one, though i don't believe in the outrageous theories about dream interpretation proposed by Freud and others, I do admit that analyzing one's dreams and correlating the dreams with one's own real life incidents  is GREAT FUN. For want of a better pastime perhaps, but still, fun to just try and connect the dreams to what really happenned to me in my  life in the recent past, tconnected to that dream.

        The funnier part is, Each time in the morning when i can't seem to recall my previous night's nighmare, i make a mental note that the next time around (as if I am so sure i will get a nightmare the next time around!) I am going to try and remember the details of the dream.This resolve makes my next round of nightmare even more stressful coz While in my sleep , i am also stressing that i better remember it. LOL

                Anyways, 

HERE ARE THE DETAILS OF THE NIGHTMARE THAT I BARELY MANAGED TO REMEMBER 

The dream starts off with me taking this guy home , you know, I am 30yrs old in the dream, so, yeah, the timeline of the dream is NOW. So, looks like, I am taking my boyfriend or would-be- fiance'   home to meet my parents. Hence, the header of this blog entry, "meet the parents" .

        The interesting part of this dream is , I take him to meet my parents , to the home which my parents no longer live at . My parents now live in a whole other city. This old home though, holds the distinction of being the home that I spent almost all my teen years at .This home has large fruit trees all around, A great flower garden in the front and beautiful marble floors in the living room , kitchen and bathrooms. My dad actually got the marble laid after we purchased the house. So, there have been days during my teen years , when i would retire into my very large bathroom with its cold marble floor and lie down on the floor. YES , You read it right !  The bathroom was so big and dry and clean , you could like down on the floor and dream away.

             So, yeah, my parents  of course moved after my dad retired. So, of course, if NOW I take my fiance home to meet my parents, I would actually take him to a whole another house in a whole another city.So, why?, in this dream , I still took him to that old home, well! I don't know! I think I am subconsciously connected to that house still in a lot of emotional ways , perhaps!

          So, I take him home, and then the next part of the dream just rushes, we talk, we spend evenings discussing stuff with parents  and what not.There was this whole air of young couple discussing future plans with parents and what not. I don't remember those details of the dream even. Fastforward to the 'break my bubble' part of the dream.

          One late twilight evening, as the room started getting darker, ME and HIM, sit in this room , which was initially our guest room, which then later,I made it my room for a bit before i moved out of house to go to medschool in another state. So, both of us are sitting near the window in that room and suddenly a discussion ensues. He is telling me something akin to how i probably misunderstood his intentions and  probably how he is still not over his last gf. 

And then i start arguing with him, "But hey, you were the one that broke up with her, yeah?" 

He says, " no, she broke up with me "

 and I go, " what? But that is not what the media says!"(gosh,where did the media come from in a dream sequence!)

and I am starting to get all angry and almost about to cry in indignation

 and then he proceeds to explain it to me that , it was her who broke up with him coz he won't want to commit the way she wanted and that the media didn't know a thing and that he was still in love with her and that i misunderstood his attention as love and what not.. 

       By this juncture in the dream, i am semi awake and therefore am making a mental note that i must , must, must remember the details of this nightmare and blog about it.. This resolve kinda breaks my sleep and I am wide awake, 3:40 in the morning.. Duh ! I usually get up at 4:00 ..Damn, lost 20 precious minutes of good ole sleep,. Shikes !