Please hover over the topic of your choice, then click to go to that topic on this blog

2008 2008_US_presidential_elections 2009 2009_public_events 2009_twitter 4_years A_grade_personality A_life_of_a_female_doctor ADD afghanisthan All content is copyrighted American_humor Amoeba_mouth anthropology apple archive art Asking_for_help Aussie_mean Aussie_Sheila Australian_humor australian_television bad_grammar Bankrupcy Barbeque_parties Beach_etiquette behavious_analysis Beijing_olympics_2008 Big_fat_blur Bill_clinton blog Blog_description blog_labels blonde body British_humor Brown eyes bubbles buddha building_technology bush Bush_speeches cancer caucus changeability child_pornography chinese_script chopsticks Clate clueless_journalism comedy comments comraderie conan conformity conviction Credit card Credit_card_debt creepy_men Dating_an_older_person De_Bakey death Debit_card Debt decisions Deep_sleep diagnosis dinner_parties dirty_sheets disney_channel diving doctor documentary domestic_abuse Down's syndrome Dr.House dravidian dream_journal dreams drudgery earthquakes economy educational_reforms election elvis presley entertainers_and_goodwill equal_work_equal_pay Eurasian_steppes exit_speech face_patterns fake_olympic_opening_ceremony family_chores Female_surgeon film_making finance friendship Gender_stereotyping gene_pool Goals goh Govt Grammy_nominees guitar happiness harrassment headache healing health Hillary hippie home homelessness housekeeper housewife housewives human_relationships Human_rights human_spirit human_trafficking humanity humility_pie hyprocricy idiots ignorance Illegal immigrants japan japanese_mafia jason Jay_leno Jazz jealousy judo juno Kenny G knowledge lakes Larry_king_live last_lecture late_pregnancy laundry Lawlessness laziness letcher Library_study_versus_home_study life_experiences Life_goals linguistics.tamil Lip_syncing logic loneliness.sociology love mafia manners math Math_and_medicine mayan medical_ethics meet_the_parents memory Men michael_jackson michel phelps MILK minority moon_struck mother mother_day Mother's_day_gifts mothers Mr.U music mutual_appreciation My_JM_comments nature_photographs new_year Nicholas cage night_time_talk_show Nightmares nirvana Nov_2008_elections obama obama_speeches Obama.Equal_pay_for_equal_work Obsessed Obsessive_repititive_thought_disorder Olympic_fireworks olympic_parade olympics olympics_closing_ceremony Olympics_opening_ceremony open_mindedness pangea.evolution_of_man panic_attack.Differential_diagnosis parenting patronized_by_male_collegues Pay_scale_discrepancy_based_on_gender peace peggy plastic_surgery Politics pop_culture popularity_contests positivity_transfer prejudice premonitions presidential_elections presidential_speech_writers primaries privacy_laws Pro_choice Pro_life psychology rain ramble Ramble_blog randy_pausch realationships relationships replica respect Rob Sarah_Palin Saxaphone science Sean_penn self_esteem Self_sufficiency sexual_frustration sexuality Short_term_list skies smoking Social_alien sociology soulmate stem_cell_research steve_jobs subconscious_desires summer super_typos supermarket swimming_pool_behaviour talk_show_hosts teachers teen_years Telecom_eavedropping_law Television tennis_starlet The_insider time_flies time_passes to_do_list tobacco tonight_show trees twitter Ukranian_folk_tales vegetarianism venus_williams Vice_presidential candidate voters whorls women women_asking_for_a_raise_at_work women_in_the_workforce Women's Issues womens_work_rights yakuza

Sunday, August 24, 2014

DISTURBING DREAM JOURNALS-PART 2-My auntie, me and a common guy!

I actually dreamed this dream last week.

a prelude into this dream with some basic thoughts.

I have been dabbling in overhauling my views about polygamy, polyandry, serial polygamy,bigamy, whatever else there is associated with things other than monogamy.

Have met too many men online, with wives and girlfriend who are so sexually and intellectually and emotionally unrequited, they think, having an internet girlfriend on the side, BESIDES continuing to have a "REAL LIFE" wife or gf is a great idea.

MY VIEW? if you are not emotionally satisfied in a relationship? TIME TO CHUCK THAT RELATIONSHIP and time to find a new one that satisfies you in every given way.

SECONDLY? internet people are JUST AS REAL, as real life people...aren't real life people the very ones on the internet? DUH!

and internet people have feelings and emotions too..INFACT, THESE FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS invoked and evoked during internet romances are JUST AS REAL if not more real than flesh and blood copulatory real life people and connections thereof..

SO, YEAH, if you are cheating on the internet, it is is emotional cheating..

and if you see yourself doing it, THAT MEANS, IT IS TIME TO BREAK UP WITH YOUR REAL LIFE PARTNER, coz they are not meeting your needs.

so, YEAH, now, coming to the dream.


I HAVE AN AUNT, she is a doctor too.


i am very proud of her...she is strong and tough and smart and talented..

however, when it comes to marriage, her marriage didn't turn out the way she wanted it..and infact, it didn't turn out the way I WANTED IT TO TURN OUT FOR HER..i wanted her to have a fabulous marriage..COZ SHE DESERVED IT...

she went through a lot of hardships due to her bad marriage..and anyways, sad story.

SO, each time i try dating a new guy, I GET SCARED if the new guy had any traits like that of my uncle, COZ I AM OBVIOUSLY VERY SHAKEN BY WHAT HAPPENED TO HER..


and for some reason, it has ingrained in my head that MY FATE IS GOING TO BE SIMILAR TO HERS.A FAILED MARRIAGE..

I AM SHIT SCARED OF FAILED MARRIAGE, so many of the marriages around me are actually dysfunctional ones...

anyways, each time i start dating a guy, there is atleast one occasion where i am shit scared that this is going to be the guy i end up marrying who will then turn out to be like my uncle, utterly disappointing...

so many smart women lose out coz they are dragging on in life with weights around their ankles due to their bad husbands and dysfunctional marriages..

SO YEAH, i adore this aunt and she is an inspiration to me in a lot of ways.

so, GIVEN THAT I LOVE HER SO MUCH, the kind of dream i had about her last week , WAS VERY DISTURBING ...TOTALLY!

how could I? how could i dream such shit..

Also, another prelude is, about me having rekindled this tiny romance with this guy from ten years ago, who actually got married back then, and surprised me with his sudden marriage announcement with someone else and i carried around that pain for ten years.

ten years later, he came to me with an almost broken marriage on the verge of divorce ..

he was not yet divorced but coz he is an old friend, I TALKED HIM PERSONALLY FOR MONTHS, and in the process, both of us started emotionally hooking up and getting emotionally attached to each other..AND I FELT NASTY AND DIRTY ABOUT IT, coz he wasn't still divorced yet..

HE WAS SEPERATED FROM HIS WIFE the whole time we talked, but he was not divorced yet..

NO WE DIDNT' DO ANYTHING SEXUAL OR ROMANTIC.but that sexual attraction and that romantic attraction that we had for each other ten years ago was still valid..AND SO, it felt really dirty that i spent hours each day talking to him..

ANYWAYS, i felt like i was part of a POLYGAMOUS SITUATION, and it felt sad and dirty.

WE ARE NOT IN TOUCH ANYMORE coz the whole polygamous nature of the situation was too much of an emotional burden for me to deal with..

I AM ADDING IN THIS STORY HERE AS A PRELUDE TO THIS DREAM, coz, THE DREAM ABOUT MY aunt and me also figures this guy..WHOM I OFTEN CALL as MR.purple in my blog entries.


with this ancient ethnic house.the kinds i have only seen ON TV, and never ever really lived in ever..

MY AUNT walks into the house apparently on a visit and immediately i take her to a room and tell her that i want to discuss with her her husband or her guy..

AND I AM LIKE, "do you know that your guy is also my guy?"

and she is mumbling incoherently

and then says something like, " i only meet him once a year and he stays over for a month and yes i have two kids with him.I don't mind if he doesn't stay with me the whole year..he is there for a month each year and the kids recognize that he is their father and that is good enough..I don't care what he does for the rest of the year..I don't care if he has a wife somewhere else"

and in the dream i am mortified and sad, coz this guy in the dream she is talking about is actually mr.purple and in the dream , I AM SEVERELY IN LOVE WITH MR.PURPLE and i want an exclusive relationship with him and then suddenly find out that mr.purple is the same guy, MY AUNT HAS SECRETELY MARRIED AND HAS HAD KIDS WITH AND HE IS ACTUALLY TECHNICALLY HER HUSBAND

and i hated myself and i hated my aunt and i hated mr.purple



in reality, my uncle is like a second parent to me..he is very very sweet and caring..he was a nice guy the whole time he lived except that my aunt had a hard time coz she dealt with his various health problems and finally had to nurse him for a long period of time till he finally died..

the hardships i was talking about, they came from my aunt needing to take care of the whole family coz my uncle always got sick..

so, my aunt and uncle are like SECOND PARENTS TO ME..

i have never felt any oedipus/electra complex ever..

i love them like my own PARENTS..

so, IN SUCH A SITUATION, dreaming such FUCKY, NASTY DREAMS where i am fighting with my aunt over a guy IS TRULY DISTURBING..what the fuck


true, mr purple has a kid with that other woman he married ten years ago and now even if he wants to be with me, I CAN'T HAVE HIM, even if i still love him a lot..


tags:dream_journals, journals, journal_blogs,dreams,disturbing_dreams,auntie_and_me,mr_purple_and_me,sad_marriages,Marriage_fears,committment_phobia

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please take time to Comment! Exchange of ideas and honest discussions in the comments section are highly welcome!

Popular Posts

My Email Address

There is a dot between CONTACT and LECINQBLOG

About Me

My photo
My Blog DOESN'T HAVE AN RSS feed.Due to that reason newer entries will NOT be automatically updated on your feeds or other Bookmarking or Reader applications. If you wish to be informed each time a new blog entry is added to my blog Please EMAIL me with a request, so that I can add your email to my POSTING LIST.Please mention the NAME OF THE BLOG you wish to be updated about. I write Five different blogs which you can sample by clicking on links placed on top of this blog page

Search This Blog

This is an AD-FREE blog.

I write this blog in English.TRANSLATE it into your native language for easy comprehension

Site Meter